Monday, December 21, 2009

Raw Food Diet, Day 560- It's That Time of Year

To all our feaster friends: Your beastly buds,
Stanislaw and Big Pupi

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Raw Food Diet, Day 654- I Was Right

I was totally on it. Santa did come early. He must have seen my beacon of Good Boy light shining brightly through the chilly Chicago sky and decided to make a special trip just for me. Too bad he didn't leave any venison along with my presents, but I suppose I'm not too down about that.

We only got one present so far - we have to wait for the rest. But this present was a SUPER CRAZY AWESOME and when my folks brought it out to us I was so totally jaw droppingly pumped!!!Big Pupi couldn't believe his googlie eyeballs either.
It was our very own, Joe Stains-inspired nuzzle nest. With my smooth moves and delicate, manly-like prancing I managed to beat my stinkbutt bro and was the first to model the nest for mom. I made sure to have spikeysaurus with me for my photo shoot.
Big Pupi watched from our bolstered blankie sofa protector thingy and gave me the stink eye. He was so jealous!
I tried my best to show him, in no uncertain terms of body language, that this was the most comfortable nest of nuzzliness that my bahonkus had ever rested upon. (Notice the delicious yogurt remnants around my feasting hole. I'm saving that for later.)
I made sure to nuzzle my schnozzle deep into the fuzzled bed of heavenly squishes.
And when my folks weren't looking, I sent my brother mocking messages.
And that stinkbutt sent them right back to me.
In an attempt to make me jealous, he created a stuffy and blankie nest of his own. It totally doesn't even compare!
I quickly discovered that a bed made of 1/2 nuzzle nest and 1/2 human is probably the best. The front part gets scritches from your person while the back portion remains in bum-cushing luxury. It's handy to be as long and masculine as I am - you can stretch to both places.
Big Pupi did not approve of this attention, and began to flirt with mommy from the (un)comfort of his not-so nuzzle nest.
To prevent a war from breaking out, my humans gave us a set of chewies. We are allowed to have Wholesome Hide chewies and only while my people are home. I have beastly jaws of steel, and these are the only rawhide bones my humans can find that are super thick, use only one rolled sheet of rawhide, and are completely made in the USA. (You can read this Whole Dog Journal article to find out what to look for in a rawhide chew, and why a USA-made chewy is so important if you live in the USA.) There are no compressed pieces, and they actually take me a super long time to work through. My brother, on the other hand, can hardly make a dent!
I made sure to stare my chewy down while providing a munching it will never forget.
When Big Pupi doesn't want to chew any more, he holds the bone in his feasting hole and carries it around - all so I can't get a hold of it.
But I didn't want his chewy anyway. It's half the size of mine! Plus, I'd have to leave this bum-pleasing nuzzle nest to harass him. So he got the day off. I was one happy, content boy.
My parents don't realize it yet, but Santa also gave me another present... both of my folks are home today! Dad has a big exam tonight and he stayed home to study. I've learned that "study" means that I lie across his chest and nibble on his book corners. Mom got to stay home because she used her hand as a resting place for an Xacto knife at work yesterday. So as long as I make sure to ask for scritches on her right side, I'm good to go.

Thanks Santa!
(But where is that venison I asked for?)


Sunday, December 13, 2009

Raw Food Diet, Day 652- We're still stinky!

Oh, feasting! We've been missing for so long! But do not fear, I'm as handsome and as beastly as you remember (or maybe even more so):Tons and millions of things have happened since we posted last. I'd love to take you through every little bit and the most important things - like my daily feasts and whatnot - but mom says I have to preserve her typing fingers and stick to the big stuff. Let's get this ball rolling...

My stinkbutt brother had another one of his surgeries and another 10 sebaceous adenomas were removed. My folks had learned their lesson from last time, and Big Pupi was all bandaged up and had socks on his hinders to prevent him from scratching. Three days went by and he was doing super well and healing fast. Before they had to leave for work on Monday, my folks wrapped him up with lots of cotton gauze and a sweatshirt to make sure he would be safe when they got home. Well... for reasons that I will not say, I WEEBLED ON MY BROTHER while my folks were gone!! I weed all down his neck, and it soaked into his sweatshirt and bandages and sat on his wounds for hours! When my mom came home my bro was shaking from pain and she disinfected him in the bathtub and dried up his surgery sites. Everything was looking good that night, so she put clean bandages on and checked on him in the morning.

Well... all was recovering really well, except for one incision which had decided to ooze green stinky sticky stuff. Mom took him straight in to the Place of Tile and Steel and he was put on 2 weeks of antigermicide green feasting pills. He's totally healed up and fine now, but I still won't tell anyone why I lifted my leg on my bro! BP is such a tattle tale I'm surprised he hasn't ratted me out either. Mmm... rats.

In happier, feasting-related news, Mom came home with this yesterday:
SWEEEET!! My butthead bro has to be retested for his 2010 therapy certification and string cheese is the most delicious and effective training tool ever in the whole wide world. What does this mean for me, you ask? I get to feast on some too! I saw dad unwrap a cheesy log of deliciousness and immediately went into CuteBeastStarvingInNeedOfCheese begging position.
It makes my eyes go all googly and drooly beads collect at my feasting hole. My bum immediately assumes Good Boy positioning and I whine softly with the extreme need for a cheese-ing.
Big Pupi's bum also responds to the stringy cheesiness and he gets anti-gravity lip jowlies.
We're so totally pumped for our training schedule to kick up a notch. My tummy totally digs it.

In torture-related news, mom made my brother a new fur-covering device. Unlike his last one, this recent edition has room for a harness underneath and a harness-leash hole, which is much more conducive for embarrassing, sweater-wearing walkies. Notice how the high collar strategically holds in his massive amounts of neck jowly flesh:
It's like an instant neck lift! Mom wanted him to look totally preppy - like he'd be found sipping sparking water in a posh ski lodge. My brother's ever-increasing level of dork-dom never ceases to amaze me!
Sheesh! Totally glad that isn't me! I'm way too dude-like to pull that one off.

In my own most relevant and important news, my medicine is still working pretty well and now I can do my Good Boy Weebles and Poobles outside even when there are puddles and reflections all over the place. It's pretty cool, because I feast on little liver treats each time I empty the tanks and ignore my triggers. In fact, I think I've been such Good Boy lately that Santa came early and left a box full of presents just for me! I know this because I knocked the box off a shelf and dove head first into the fabulous stuffy explosion. Mom said I wasn't allowed to have it just yet, but I'm confident that it will all be heading my soon. I am just about the best boy out there, and since Santa doesn't keep track of my indoor poobles (2 - I got excited), I have a perfectly clean track record. Because of this Good Boyness, I made a long list of Christmas goodies. I'm totally pumped!

Time to go nibble on dad's slippers for a while, and perhaps jump on his belly while he's snoozeling. Santa also overlooks those Naughty Boyish things, I just know it.

Your holiday angel,

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Raw Food Diet, Day 605- Lessons in Prozac

Hi guys! Guess what? Yesterday I hit the 3-week mark since starting my medicine, and now my folks are allowed to really focus on my training and re-conditioning. It is SO FUN!! And I think that this is the first time I have ever really enjoyed it.
Today mom and I went on a super long, super awesome walk to the bark park. I got kind of distracted a few times heading out there, but I always brought my attention back. That's big news! There were a few extreme stressors that unfortunately we were not able to avoid - like the above-ground train that comes roaring about my head. I HATE IT!! It makes me tuck my tail, twitch, try to run and scream as loudly as I can. But on this walk I was able to do Sit Like Good Boy and Shake while feasting hard on beefy jerky treats. I also tried really hard to nibble a big treat from mom's hand while the train passed, and I think I was a little rough on her with my feasting teeth because I was so nervous. Sorry mom!

We made it to the park and I played the entire time. I was also picked on by this big dog whose human kept saying "He doesn't bite, don't worry" and mom got really mad because ALL dogs can bite! And wouldn't you know... this dog got himself a mouth full of Stanislaw - TWICE!! That human had to do the walk of shame from the park with his meany pup, but being the party animal that I am I didn't let it get to me (I wasn't actually injured). I continued to romp and play like a wild beast. I did absolutely no screaming whatsoever, and although I'd go through the motions that start me off on my running/screaming patterns, I never actually completed a single one. More big news!!

On the walk home I was tired and enjoying a decently wet belly (thanks sprinkler!) so I did Heel Like Good Boy almost the entire way. I kept making eye contact with mom ON MY OWN and feasting on treats like crazy! Again, there was no screaming during our walkies and barely any whining either. I'm NEVER EVER quiet when I'm outside!!

So, with our first day of training done I'm thinking that I made my folks pretty proud. I still suffer from many of my symptoms, but they seem to have significantly released their grip on me. I definitely need to work through the habit portion of my behaviors, but the fact that things like reflections and lights now rarely send me into a frenzy shows us that my little blue pill is doing its job. I still twitch on the rare occasion and I still cave, but I'm more "conscious" when doing it. The portion of my loonies that would make me manic has toned down a lot and now I can do something my people really seem to enjoy. It's called "Focus." And I don't even have to try that hard!

Now, don't get me wrong - I'm still my hyperactive, party-lovin', stink-breathin', Gumby-esque self, and all that is Stanislaw is very much present. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm still totally crazy...


Prozac-ed and ready for action,

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Raw Food Diet, Day 602- If You Build It, They Will Feast

Big Pupi is one helpful dude:

So. When I heard that my buddy Joe is planning to open his own garage, I decided to lend a paw and brush up on my construction skillz. Somehow mom knew I was going to need the proper tools for this, and last week she placed my very own drill in my feasting hole. If I'm not mistaken, (and I most certainly am not), once a boy owns tools he becomes a professional carpenter. So, Mr. Joe, I am ready for work.I read my drill's manual very carefully, and after I shred the heck out of it I got to work checking and testing my new tool.
It makes this fabulous nails-on-chalkboard sound every time I roll over it, which I believe is how the On and Off switch works. In a test of durability (you never know with these battery-operated drills!) I nibbled on its bum for a while.
I realized that my bum required some cushioning if I am to concentrate, so I moved my work station to my snoozel spot. Upon entering, I noticed that my bed was terribly lumpy and uncomfortable on my sensitive, manly bahonkus! But this was the perfect opportunity to test my drillin' skillz before starting work with Joe. I would drill until I found the problem! Just call me Captain FixIt.
But to my ABSOLUTE HORROR, this evil thing popped out from under my rear!!!
WHAT?!! The source of lumps! The pea under my mattress! There aren't enough drills in the UNIVERSE to get rid of this pain in the bum.
That being said, a Stanislaw makes for a rather decent hot water bottle of sorts, and I snoozeled next to his toastiness for a while. (NO!! We were NOT cuddling!! I know what you're thinking!!!)

Once my mind was rested, I embarked on a few brain teasers to ensure that I would be as sharp as a tack for my first day on the job. In an effort to conserve time (after all, time is cheese money), I did a light yoga workout while solving my puzzle. I think they call that "multi-feasting."
After some great success with my puzzle toy (mom put string cheese bits in it, so I was über-motivated), I decided it was time to rest my genius once again. But this time I would snoozel with Carrot Top and NOT my stinkbutt brother.

Dear Joe,

Send a weeble mail when you need me. I am skilled with my drill, my mind is ready and my beastly muscles have been conditioned. If I had dewclaws I'd sharpen them. I'm really good at napping, feasting, feasting and thrashing stuffies - all things which I believe make me ideal for shop work.

I have successfully run my own business for over 6 years now (a pooble factory) and have managed to train 2 unwieldy humans. I am spritely and responsible, and have an awesome credit score.

I wrote my resume in the snow last winter. I hope you can still find it.

Thank you, and I look forward to speaking with you soon.
Big Pupi the Drill Master

Friday, September 18, 2009

Raw Food Diet, Day 596- A Black and Tan

Heya feaster dudes!

After leaving a comment on my new buddy Euri's blog (he's a fellow Super Spaniel), I was inspired to write this little post~

When I was first taken into foster care, I was thought to have some black and tan spaniel in me. Why? Because I had rust-colored splotches on my face! I KNOW!! I didn't believe it either! Mom had to dig up some pics to prove it to me.

Here's a skinny photo of my first day as a rusty adopted beast:

(click to enlarge)

And here's a good one that shows my rustiness:
And now for the present-day comparison photo:
Crazy, RIGHT?! That scrawny dog doesn't even look like me!! The color change happened slowly, and started after I began feasting on real meat and gaining weight. I guess my body was getting enough nutrients in my manly muscles that it could spare some for my beastly coat. I'm not that into fashion or anything, but I like the attention my new duds get me. Apparently humans are like birds - they like shiny things.

But even more than those handsome pics of yours truly, I like the ones of me annoying the HECK out of my brother when I first moved in:
HA! That's me :!BOOFING!: at his bum and driving him totally bonkers! You can almost hear him telepathically asking mom if he can return me to cocker rescue. Can you imagine his face when he learned that this beast-o is here for good?! AWESOME!

Long, dark and handsome,

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Raw Food Diet, Day 591- Beasts and Their Boats

Big Pupi talks about his big day:

I had SUCH AN EXCITING day today! But before I get into that, I'll give you a little update on my brother~
Stanley has been on his medication for over a week now, and boy-oh-boy is it helping! The intense snoozely side effects passed after only 2 days, and since then he's been steadily climbing uphill. Mom hasn't caught him doing one single fly-biting twitch, and although he still whines a lot he doesn't really scream anymore when outside. Also, when we are out for our runs about town my people are able to get Stanley to "watch me" and "sit, wait" when we're stuck at a red light. It's fairly easy to get his attention now! He'll even "come, sit" during our potty walks outside! (All for cheese and beefy jerky, of course.)

My bro is still a wild and wacky, hyperactive cocker spaniel, but that dark, manic part of his personality is fading. He just seems happier - lighter, almost. Furthermore, Stan will begin a compulsive behavior and then never follow through with it. For example, he'll look into the TV to see the reflection, and instead of getting all crazed and obsessed he'll just sniff and walk away. Same goes with his bark park patterns - he'll go to one of his "stations" out of what looks like habit, and the compulsion to run his pattern never actually kicks in. He'll stand there for a moment before turning and looking for a fellow party animal to thrash with. Normally we'll lose him to one of his triggers and patterns, and never really get him back for the rest of the day. It's AMAZING! My folks are so proud of him.
He's been getting extra squenches and snugs for being so Good Boy-ish. I'm jealous! My people are going to try their best to keep from pushing him too far too fast, and we still have another 2 weeks before the Prozac builds up in his body. They will develop a training plan once they see where he's at then.

Now onto his more intelligent and gracious older brother ... ahem, ME.

Today I got to go on a doggy boat cruise with my fellow therapy dog friends! Mom and I got up nice and early to make it to the ticket booth on time, then I got to shake my tail feathers at these awesome canines while we waited to board.
There were SO MANY lady chihuahuas also in line that were not with our group. I was in HEAVEN!! I LOVE wee lady chihuahua doggettes! I made sure to flex my rippling muscles and prance all manly-like to convince them of my beastliness.

I was determined to snag a seat at the front of the boat so that I could get first dibs on any stinks and smells. But first, I made sure to ask mom if it was okay with her that I sit on her lap for the ENTIRETY of the 90-minute trip.

I didn't like this dog too much because he kept trying to break into mom's bag and eat all my Good Boy cheese bit treats, but I have to admit - dude could pose for some good photo ops.It was gloriously sunny and I relaxed under the toastiness of the sun's rays.On our exit from the river in to the lake, we saw these crazy bee-hive buildings. Can you imagine the size of those bees!! I've eaten a few bees in my lifetime and let me tell you... those guys are SPICY!!Once in the lake we saw my aquarium and stadium (I have weebled on the lawns and therefore they belong to me.) I prefer to call them the Underwater Feasting Center and Supreme Dog Park.
I became very interested in this crazy ball/balloon thingy and wondered what king of fetch is played with something that large. I figured it was probably Great Dane sized but didn't smell any horse dogs on the horizon. I was confused.
The ball got even bigger the closer we got to Navy Pier (also mine).
Our human boat speaker guy said that this lighthouse was once rented to a human for $1 a year as long as he took care of the lighthouse. He lived there for a few years before being evicted for being too much of a party animal. I wonder if he ever met Stanley.
These onlookers were all juicy and delicious. I took much interested in both of them, but they honked at me in mocking since I couldn't actually give chase.
This is Merchandise Mart. It was built by Marshall Fields as a place for all Chicago merchants to sell their wares. Its grand opening took place about 90 hours before Black Friday, after which the building went bankrupt. Fields had to sell the building to the Kennedy family for about $12 million in cheese money. They held the building for over 60 years before selling it to another company for over $700 million. I wonder how many chickens and goats you can buy with that...
This building was the famous Sears Tower, but now it's called the Willis Tower. I hope my name never gets changed like that! There are also rumors that it will be turned silver. Remind me to weeble on this one later.Towards the end of our visit I spotted the most important and well-named landmark of all~~ this boat!!Our boat eventually docked and I said bye to my buddies. Mom and I headed home and I did a little of this:That is... until I saw her giving some unearned attention to Stanislaw. So I grabbed a piece of cardboard from the rubbish and pranced about trying to steal her attention away.
It worked! I was so Good Boy today that I DESERVE all of the attention!
We hope everyone enjoyed their weekend!

Snoozeling with my cardboard,
Big Pupi