I make my dramatic whining, lunging, and sliding-about entrance and my folks attempt to have me Sit Like Good Boy on the scale. After many only slightly successful attempts and a guess at the final poundage, I'm dragged to the back of the waiting area where my whines turn into screams and wails and I leap at the window and thrash to get at any fun-looking dog that might be hanging out there with me. I become totally manic and move in double-time. Once the humans that work at the front desk can no longer answer phone calls or hear themselves think, they usher me into an exam room to wait "where I'll be less excited" until the doctor is ready. In that little room, I continue with my futile attempts to grip the floor and my shrieking elevates in that voice-enhancing little space. My people hold me, pace around, offer treats - but NOTHING soothes the beast. When the doctor comes in I'm PUMPED and every piece of me heads off on its own trajectory and I thrash about with way too much excitement. If I'm not being held or touched I'm busy screaming and staring into the reflective garbage bin that sits under the exam table and the humans can't hear each other talk. After all this, the vet gives up on conversation and writes everything out on paper for my people to read, then they make my folks check out in the little room and we run out the door to go home.
Not too terrible, right? SO NOT!! At least I don't think so.
But yesterday's trip was a little unusual. Prepared for the worst, my folks came armed with treats and the knowledge 0f how these visits generally unfold. We zoomed up to the check-in counter and I was gingerly place on the scale to get my weight. Mom half-heartedly held a treat and told me to "Sit Like Good Boy and Stay, Please, Just for a second longer, Wait, Don't Move, Hold On"... And I did. I didn't take my eyes off that treat and my bum didn't move an inch. Hmmph. And then we scooted to the back of the waiting room, my people preparing themselves and their ear drums for the screaming to commence, as dogs and doctors and techs swirled around us. Boy was I into it! I was so excited! There was one totally awesome looking Golden Retriever near us and a Golden Doodle puppy that looked like a party animal!! Big Pupi was busy doing Good Boy stuff for treats but I was taking it all in. Tail wagging, bum bouncing, body buzzing. And just when it all seemed like too much, my people were certain that this was the moment... Stanislaw's about to EXPLODE!!!!
I lied down.
I placed my belly on the cool floor, pressed my legs back frog-style and exposed the ol' groin to the fabulous iciness. I stayed there relaxed, observing, interested, and quiet. YES... QUIET. I performed some tricks for mom. Shook with my right leg. Shook with my left. Earned myself some little treats. And we were never banished into the little lonely room to wait out our waiting time.
I've been feasting on 1.5mg of melatonin with breakfast each day for about a week now, and at first I didn't really notice anything. But as the week went on I kept forgetting that I was supposed to scream, and I figured that sizzling sounds aren't that scary after all. (I heard some major sizzle on Thursday and came to the kitchen to see what it was.) I'm a long long LONG ways from better, but because I've made such improvements on such a low dose, Doctor said that she didn't want to prescribe me any other kind of medication. Not yet, anyways. Maybe we could add a little tryptophan to my food, but that was about it.
I'm on 3mg of melatonin now, and today was my first dose. Mom said I looked a little woozely from it~
I'm still begging dad for his scrabbled eggs and showing off my funky pokey rib:

My people are impressed. I'm not surprised... I'm one impressive manly beast of massive proportions. Heck... I'm so incredible I even amaze myself sometimes - like when I projectile puked in the back of the PukeMobile on the way home from the Place of Tile and Steel. It was beefy explosions of the awesomest kind! I am SO TALENTED!!
Your feasting, beasting man is on the mend,
Stanislaw