Raw Food Diet, Day 602- If You Build It, They Will Feast

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Big Pupi is one helpful dude:

So. When I heard that my buddy Joe is planning to open his own garage, I decided to lend a paw and brush up on my construction skillz. Somehow mom knew I was going to need the proper tools for this, and last week she placed my very own drill in my feasting hole. If I'm not mistaken, (and I most certainly am not), once a boy owns tools he becomes a professional carpenter. So, Mr. Joe, I am ready for work.I read my drill's manual very carefully, and after I shred the heck out of it I got to work checking and testing my new tool.
It makes this fabulous nails-on-chalkboard sound every time I roll over it, which I believe is how the On and Off switch works. In a test of durability (you never know with these battery-operated drills!) I nibbled on its bum for a while.
I realized that my bum required some cushioning if I am to concentrate, so I moved my work station to my snoozel spot. Upon entering, I noticed that my bed was terribly lumpy and uncomfortable on my sensitive, manly bahonkus! But this was the perfect opportunity to test my drillin' skillz before starting work with Joe. I would drill until I found the problem! Just call me Captain FixIt.
But to my ABSOLUTE HORROR, this evil thing popped out from under my rear!!!
WHAT?!! The source of lumps! The pea under my mattress! There aren't enough drills in the UNIVERSE to get rid of this pain in the bum.
That being said, a Stanislaw makes for a rather decent hot water bottle of sorts, and I snoozeled next to his toastiness for a while. (NO!! We were NOT cuddling!! I know what you're thinking!!!)

Once my mind was rested, I embarked on a few brain teasers to ensure that I would be as sharp as a tack for my first day on the job. In an effort to conserve time (after all, time is cheese money), I did a light yoga workout while solving my puzzle. I think they call that "multi-feasting."
After some great success with my puzzle toy (mom put string cheese bits in it, so I was über-motivated), I decided it was time to rest my genius once again. But this time I would snoozel with Carrot Top and NOT my stinkbutt brother.

Dear Joe,

Send a weeble mail when you need me. I am skilled with my drill, my mind is ready and my beastly muscles have been conditioned. If I had dewclaws I'd sharpen them. I'm really good at napping, feasting, feasting and thrashing stuffies - all things which I believe make me ideal for shop work.

I have successfully run my own business for over 6 years now (a pooble factory) and have managed to train 2 unwieldy humans. I am spritely and responsible, and have an awesome credit score.

I wrote my resume in the snow last winter. I hope you can still find it.

Thank you, and I look forward to speaking with you soon.
Big Pupi the Drill Master