Whazzup dudes! Get your meat-feasting holes in gear because it's gonna be a boys' weekend at my place!!
Mom's away at something totally nerdy called a "shower," and that means that my bro and I have to stay home with dad. Seeing as I HATE the rain I'm super glad I don't have to tag along. There will be sports-watching and cheesy snack-snacking happening at home and I can't miss that!
But just to make certain you don't forget what a beast looks like over the weekend, I've included a few photos for your Stanislaw-viewing pleasure:
Now there's a fine snoozely beast.
Happy weekending everyone.
Pass the cheese please,
Friday, May 29, 2009
Whazzup dudes! Get your meat-feasting holes in gear because it's gonna be a boys' weekend at my place!!
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Heya feaster Dudes! I hope you enjoyed the BBQ meat-feasting weekend. We don't own one of those outdoor meat cookers, but I've heard from other canines in my 'hood that the feasts were deeeeelicious!
I've been livin' large in Stanislaw style since dad's school ended. He's home by dinner every night now and we get to go on fast hunts on the weekends. It's awesome! Speaking of fast hunts, dad ran a 10 mile race on Saturday and did super well. I'm so proud of him! But he totally would have done better if he had a little fuzzy man pacing him along the way. My pace is called Fast As You Can and I run in zig-zags. He would have won the race if I had been there!
Big Pupi and I were trying our best to be Have before dad got home, and to reward me for my good boyness mom gave me some quality bum scritches. My most favorite spot to get scritched in the whole wide world is right between my knobbly hip bones on the top of my rump. I go crazy! I make faces like this:And get what my folks call "electric bum" where my tush leaps and hops about while my front half stays glued to the floor. Here I am in mid electric-bum leap making my grunty bummy scritches face:
What's your favorite scritch location? Does it make you do strange things?
In dull and hopelessly boring news... while dad was out racing Big Pupi was at home being all angel-like and nibbling quietly on some stuffy bunny bum. What a nerdle!
While I, the King of My Territory and Master of all Within It, was hopped up on bum scritches and out looking for something wonderfully naughty to do or chew:
But before I could locate a nice shoe to feast on, dad came home! He smelled like a beast and it was SO AWESOME! I sniffed his armpits and tried to eat his shirt. This is WAY better than BBQ! I was all like "WOW" because my dad is the coolest. Then he showered and feasted on some eggs and he snuck me a mondo-sized piece of cheesy egg deliciousness. See? I told you he was cool. I forgot all about mom and electric butt and became totally possessed by dad's manly beastly feasting awesomeness.
Dad plopped on the sofa and I hopped on pop:
I spend most of my time snoozeling in this spot when dad is home. I like to press my ear on his chest and ear his heartbeat, and his tummy is so warm! Plus, this way I can be certain that he can't go anywhere without me knowing. I'm a genius!
Then I relax and get ready for a solid snoozel. We were both tired after that race. Phew! Time for nappies!
My folks call me a "velcro dog." I wonder if wild velcros eat raw meat too?
Dad is my mostest favoritest.
Friday, May 15, 2009
Hey folks! I think that I may owe you a story...
Mom, Big Pupi and I were out for a good, hard fast-hunt the other day and boy-o-boy were we feeling beastly and strong. I was doing my usual zig-zag running and Big Pupi was being all Good Boy and stuff and concentrating on where he was going. We were weaving our way through the big city, dodging humans and wrapping up a 4-mile run when all of a sudden Big Pupi whipped around mom and almost took her down by wrapping the leash around her legs. That nerdy Good Boy never does stuff like that! That's my job!
Well, mom stopped to catch her balance and untangle the 3 of us, when all of a sudden a lady human started to scream. Did Pupi snatch food from her hand? Is she scared of dogs? Did Pupi lunge and BITE??!! - Mom thought, too terrified to turn to look. How UNLIKE Big Pupi!
No sooner did she get her bearing than Big Pupi started to shriek and scream, pull on the leash and act all crazy-like. I just couldn't resist, and zooming around mom in the opposite direction I whipped around and joined in on the hootin' and hollerin'. So there we were, a lady and two dogs screaming bloody murder, and mom teetering on the edge of balance, on the verge of loosing and battle and tasting cement.
Pupi and I continued to pull and scream. The hollering lady human did her best and was soon joined by another female biped. We were a spectacle! Mom was freaked! Mom finally got the guts to turn around and look to see what Big Pupi had done, when out of the corner of her eye she saw a...
In downtown Chicago?? This massive brown thing lumbered up the curb and waddled its way across the sidewalk through a fence on the other side. Now there was a chorus of screaming humans along with the two vocal canines. What the... but no. This fuzzy, fat brown thing wasn't a beaver. It was a 15 lb...
MR. RATBUTT LIVES!!! And he's apparently been eating well. On this particular day he was making his way towards an alleyway filled with dumpsters were the prime rat feasting takes place. I wonder if he has a date tonight! Oh I was just SOOO happy to see the ol' guy. He's one major stud of a ratbutt.
Big Pupi and I wanted to chase him down, so that we may sit with him a while and enjoy some pleasant conversation. But, of course, loser-mom said NO WAY!! and she dragged us home, still screaming. I was mad as poobles and made angry faces like this:
On another day, during a morning pooble walk, I saw what I'm sure is one of Mr. Ratbutt's kids racing about town, and Big Pupi and I found a hole in a building that I'm certain is his home. It's right behind a dumpster, so I guess he kind of has a on-suite kitchen. Those rats know how to LIVE!! Pupi and I always try to get a close sniff of his den, but our folks never seem to allow it. I don't know what they have against city rats. They're cool guys that KNOW how to FEAST!! I'm sure they could teach me a thing or two about scavenging. I NEED to LEARN!
It has a pocket that holds his fancy badge...
...and a badge that, well... IS a fancy badge.
Mom had to make some adjustments, like cutting the extra straps and gluing the badge holder back on. (She said it's made like a piece of pooble but cost a lot of cheese money. Mom was NOT pleased.) But Big Pupi sure looks dashing in his new gear and he can't wait to take it for a test drive in a few days. He wore that silly girl-scout vest with a HUGE smile on his face:
And just so you don't forget what a handsome, beastly, lip-curling profile SHOULD look like, here's a photo of yours truly:
We have a question for all you crazy canines~
The day after some good, hard exercise, Big Pupi turns into a 6-month old puppy. He bounces, he thrashes, he wiggles and wrastles. He regresses SO much, that strange humans think this (almost) 6-year old greying boy is a baby springer spaniel. He still has his manners (that dork!), but his silly playfulness goes up about 1,000%. Do any of you do this? It's so wacky!
My brother is a wierd-o,
P.S. - Check out our new shop on Etsy, Tasty Threads! It just went up yesterday. Mom's been working her fingers to the bone - each piece takes DAYS... and she could have been spending that time with me! What is this world coming to?
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
What's going on my crazy canines? Today is a BIG day in Casa de Stanislaw.
Dad finishes school for the summer!!
His last exam is tonight and I CAN'T WAIT to have my dad back full-time to play with me and feed my cheesy snacks. I mean, I know he still has to go to work all day and be responsible and stuff, but I get to chill with him at night and all weekend. SWEETNESS!!!
I've been working hard and trying to make sure he learns everything he needs so that he will ace the last exam. I spend much of my time coaching dad while perched in his lap. This way he can work on the computer while I whisper encouraging thoughts in his ear - usually about meat and cheese, because those are the thoughts in my head. But sometimes a beast gets tired during those long study hours and sometimes a dude just has to lounge a little a take a snoozel break.
What's a beast to do? I'm all long and manly and dad's lap just isn't my size. It's okay. I make do.
Good luck today dad.
Your skinny beastly bud,
Friday, May 8, 2009
Whazzup feaster dudes!! Stanislaw here being all beastly and coming at ya all stinky-like. The sun has finally decided to stick around my territory and get it all warm and bright, which makes for lots of morning fast-hunting and belly soaking with cool fountain water. It also makes for some quality time running about nude with city breezes on the manly parts. You see, Big Pupi and I were getting way too toasty on runs so mom had to install some air conditioning on our bodies:
Sure, I look like a noodle with thigh muscles and a massive head but it FEELS SO GOOD!! It makes my tail do crazy things and wag like this:Dad keeps calling me his miniature horse because he thinks I'm all prancy and stuff without all that fur. No way! I EAT like a horse but I PRANCE like a wild beast! I keep telling dad that Big Pupi looks way more like a mini horse because of his scrawny little legs and general itty bitty-ness. And did you see how grey that eyebrow is getting? What a nerd!
Did you notice what else is missing?
He had to wait until therapy was done this week before mom could feed the mohawk to the buzzy thing. Don't worry folks - the 'do will come back some day, but for now Big Pupi is enjoying a little air on his fuzzy forehead. (Plus the 'hawk made his head look even massiver compared to his skinny shaved body. It was just silly!)
We went on a super awesome long fast-hunt today and I got to exercise my beastly muscles and general naughty boyness by not watching where I was going and almost running into planters, potholes and people all along the way. Mom was so annoyed! I just kept telling the ol' bird to chill - I was crazy busy keeping a look out for real birds and squirrels and goats and stuff. I bumped into Mr. Ratbutt on the way home, but that's a story for another time. It's a good ratty tale!
My new aerodynamic look gives me speediness and enables me to be first in line for any cheesy snacks that dad might drop in the kitchen~
It's awesome, especially since he ALWAYS "accidentally" lets a few go to the floor just for my brother and me. Crunchalicious.
Big runs make us crazy hungry and mom supplemented our chickeny breakfast and dinner today with some canned sardines. Mmm mmm! We always get a protein snack after a run and the fishies are our FAVORITE. Delish! They're even better when mixed with some yogurt and apple sauce. Don't you think that sounds gourmet?!!
It's dinner time in the Land of Stanislaw so I've got to be going. This skinny beast has to feast hard to keep up his manliness!
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Big Pupi breaks it down: Heya fellow feasters. Every so often we get all science-y and medical-ish on this blog, and this particular post is going to (sort of) be one of those times.
As all of you know, my brother and I are fed a prey model diet. What this means (in a really teeny tiny nutshell) is that all of our feasts are constructed from fresh, raw foods and follow percentages based on the physical make up of prey animals. There is a fairly strict calcium to phosphorous ratio that must be followed, and those amounts are based on the ratio of muscle (phosphorous) to bone (calcium) in animals on which we'd like to hunt and feast. We also include organs (kidney and liver) at about 10% of the overall diet to ensure we are getting proper nutrients. Finally, some raw feeders - like my parents - give blended fruits and veggies each day to mimic the stomach contents of a kill. When a wild canine takes down prey, the stomach and liver are always the most coveted parts of the animal, and I know why... they are SO TASTY! While adding fruits and veggies is debated amongst the raw community, my folks like to think that this pureed plant matter adds fiber and additional vitamins to our diet.
Most of the time we need to feast on a variation of the raw diet. Since it is just not possible to toss Stanislaw and me a whole rabbit, my people have to manufacture ways to ensure that the proper ratios are met and we are provided with a proper and varied nutrient profile. In the past, we have always eaten 2 meals per day: one RMB meal (Raw Meaty Bones that are about 50% meat and 50% bone), and one meat and organ meal. That's a pretty common method for raw feeders, especially those with small dogs. However, large dogs may get a whole chicken or rabbit as a day's meal - organs and all - and that would prove to be a balanced feast.
Another major aspect of raw feeding is the idea of balance over time. We believe the practice of feeding a 100% "complete and balanced" meal twice a day every single day at the expense of variety is a huge a mistake. Our parents don't eat the same exact, "100% balanced" meal for every meal every day... they don't even feed their CHILDREN 100% balanced meals every single time they feast! Proper nutrition in humans is met through variety and balance over the course of a few days or a week, and we apply these theories to canine feasting.
It is super important that Stanislaw and I get many different types of protein over the course of a month, week, or even throughout the day. We also get different types of fruits and veggies, from apples to carrots to green beans to squash. This helps to prevent allergies from developing and it also exposes us to many different amino acid profiles, vitamins and minerals.
Now onto our meaty menu for next week, and what exactly it was that made me look so beggingishly at my mom~
Since Stanislaw and I are too small to feast on a whole prey animal in one sitting, we've always feasted on the "homemade" version of the diet using RMB meals and meat meals. But things are about to change. After spotting a coupon for "buy one get one free" whole fresh chickens, mom decided to pick one up for each of us and feed us in true prey model style. For less than $1 of cheese money per pound of feast (an AWESOME deal!), Stanislaw and I have an entire week's-worth of breakfasts and dinners lined up.
Mom broke down each chicken, removing the skin and excess fat as she went. The pieces were then weighed and divided into 8 oz. of feasting per day for me and 10 oz. for Stanislaw. The meals kept coming until there was literally nothing left (except the skin and fat which went into the trash). Even the baggie of guts was used - the necks counting as an RMB piece, the gizzards and heart as muscle, and the kidney and liver as organ meat. Stan and I were even allowed to give our chickens a test by snacking on the hearts while we waiting. Delish!
We already have a meal defrosted and waiting for tomorrow, but after that we'll be feasting on chicken for a week until the entire feasts are gone, with each of us eventually consuming our very own, whole bird. Some days our phosphorous intake will be high, and some days our calcium intake will be high, but by the time we have finished our chickens we will have taken in an overall ideal ratio of meat:bone:organ... a perfect balance over time. And that's what prey model feasting is all about.
As mom broke the tasty bird in pieces, Stan watched the floor carefully in case a morsel escaped from the counter. A chicken tail wound up flying off, but Stan had it in his mouth before it ever touched the floor. Great success!
The human meat locker has a few baggies chilled and ready for feasting, and the rest of our chicken deliciousness is in our meat locker being kept fresh and frozen solid.
We're excited! Since wings and necks are the easiest things to get, Stan and I have always eaten those chickeny parts. But this time we get to have backs and breasts and ribs. Crunchy yumliciousness!
We'll let you know how it goes. (It's going to be fabulous!)
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Big Pupi reports on his event:
Oh my feasting, my fellow canines. Thursday was a big day for me!
The day started off a little iffy, as it was raining cats outside and mom was none too happy since my yellow-ish fur had been scrubbed and groomed to fluffy white perfection. As we geared up for a wet walk to the AwesomeMobile, mom snuck up behind me and slipped this horrible, rubbery contraption over my head~I've seen this so-called "rain coat" hanging in the closet, but I've never had to actually put it on. It was a little embarrassing for us both to be seen about town with me in that ridiculous get-up, but it kept my back and neck dry and clean for my therapy show debut.
When we arrived at the school I was CRAZY pumped and wiggling like a mad man. I saw my therapy lady friend Daisy and we said our bum-sniffing Hello's and made our way to the library. It was going to be a smaller crowd than we had geared up for, but that was okay... I hadn't figured out how I was going to get belly rubs from 200 people! Boggles the mind.
Here was our set-up:
Mom and I walked a few laps around the room so I could sniff EVERYTHING and get into the right mindset for the event. Then we did a few practice tricks and before we knew it, the room was flooded with people all speaking in high voices to me and getting me all snarzely and crazed again.
Once the room was full (very full - there were humans in the seats, humans on the floor... people everywhere!), we made our introductions and took some volunteers to the front of the room. We had a mock therapy session with the volunteers and explained the purpose behind certain tricks and how different types of interaction help people with different illnesses and special needs. We were even able to slip in some real therapy work, and had 3 girls take part that were TERRIFIED of dogs. They each said that they were bitten or attacked by large-breed dogs and haven't been near another canine since. I focused a lot of time on them, and by the end of our 30 minute presentations one girl was walking me around the room on my leash and another was letting me take treats from her hand. At the very end of a session, the first girl even snuck in and gave me head scritches! It was a very successful day.
Daisy and I did two 30-minute presentations and each time the room was overflowing with humans. We both were very good dogs and earned lots of treats and even more pets and belly rubs. At the end of each show, every single human rushed the front of the room and I was drowning in hands and pets. It was SO AWESOME! At one point I jumped on to a chair so the folks in the back of the pack could reach me too. That was the BEST reward of all.
Although we weren't able to get photos during the event, I can tell you that my tail was waggling at super sonic speeds - so fast the camera couldn't catch it!After the event I was POOPED and snoozeled in the car on the way home. All together we were at the event for 4 hours, and it's EXHAUSTING having to be 100% Good Boy for that long! I snored like a beast in the AwesomeMobile, and was so happy to see my comfy sofa snoozel spot when we got home. Stanislaw was kind enough to keep it warm for me while I way away, and I kicked his skinny bum out of it and went down for nappies. I needed my rest for Friday's fast hunt and the big event on Saturday. I'll let my bro fill you in on that one.
Stanislaw chomping on pierogies:
Yesterday was a big day for me - Polish Constitution Day! It's a day for celebrating my namesake and the co-author of the Constitution, Stanislaw, and the day the document was adopted - May 3, 1791. There's a huge parade in honor of that event, and folks fill my territory wearing red and white and speaking a language that I don't understand. But I love it!
Big Pupi - the Irish son (note the freckles and greying hair) - donned his festive harness and a blinking red light for the parade~
~while I got to wear my totally awesome Polish Eagle shirt with my name written in bright red letters underneath. My bro and I couldn't wait to hit the streets and be the center of attention like we were last year.
It was a gorgeous sunny day. Absolutely perfect for parading. Big Pupi really enjoyed the show and lots of people on the parade floats called out to us and got us really excited.
We saw the Flag of Poland everywhere~
~and there were tons of human puppies performing dances and wearing the country's colors. I even got to wipe my slobbery tongue all over one of the kids when she was done parading and she laughed and spoke to me in Polish. She tasted just like human puppy!
Eventually we had to leave the parade because the horsiffers (police officer horses) came in and made Big Pupi get all Naughty Boy and start screaming. He really HATES those stinky beasts!
But before we left I got to see the awesome Feasting Goat of Poland (I'm almost positive that's what it was there to represent)~
So many people took photos of me and got crazy excited when they heard my name. More often than not the humans would point to a man in the crowd and say "He is Stanislaw too!" I had no idea that people liked my name so much! The whole day made me really hot but really happy.
As if my day couldn't get any better, on the way home I found what I'm certain would have been my new BEST BESTEST BETTEREST friend in the whole wide world!!!!
I became possessed by his awesomeness and couldn't move or take my eyes off his fuzzy face. My annoying parents said that I wasn't allowed to hold him in my mouth (he told me he wanted me to hold him!) or even get close enough to give him a good sniff. NOT FAIR! I could tell he was lonely lying on the streets and I would have taken such good care of him if I were only allowed to bring him home. Parents just don't get it. I LOVE animals and I just wanted to play with Mr. Ratbutt for a little while. They dragged me away and I will never forgive them for it.
Neither will Mr. Ratbutt - I'm sure of it.
But at least I got my parade and chance to party with the Polish humans. That was pretty awesome! And boy was I a tired beast when I got home. I joined Big Pupi on the sofa and dreamt of feasting on pierogies with Mr. Ratbutt. I had mine with cheese on top, but he ate his with a nice garbage sauce. That's my kind of guy!
I am planning a parade in Mr. Ratbutt's honor.