Magic Beastitis

'Sup my favorite fuzzy friends? Stanislaw here, staring out the window at the tasty niblets that scamper by.

Big Pupi and I have been B-O-R-E-D lately. My folks haven't been able to take us on our fast hunts thanks to a bazillion and a half hours of work they are forced to do so that they can buy my feasting materials. You'd think that I'd be okay with the situation since it's for my general good, but I'm not. So in lieu of fast hunts, I've been hunting for some seriously naughty things to keep myself occupied. I am in need of metal stimulation, and how can you blame me if those leather strappy things on mom's boot happened to be the item of my occupation-ism?

To avoid any more leather feasting, we've been kept busy on our balance ball. My bro and I LOVE IT. We try to push each other out of the way to get on it and then run around and wait in line for our turn. IT IS SO AWESOME. And delicious. We get to eat little gobs of cream cheese off of mom's fingers when we're good balancing boys.

I've finally figured out the art of actually balancing on the ball instead of just sitting my rear right down on it. My nerdalicious brother has actually learned to stand up on his hinders while balancing on the ball. Sheesh. Show off much?? Mom thinks it's hysterical that BP has learned a whole manner of circus tricks but in the 5 years she's had him, BP is has never learned how to shake. No joke. But you know who's got that whole shake-thing down pat? THIS GUY. Heck, I'll put my whole torso in your hand when you ask for a shake. I'd like to see the dorkus do THAT! His standing ain't got nothin' on me!

Here are some videos for your immense enjoyment. Try not to be distracted by the massive amounts of beastliness. I know I do sometimes.

Later dudes!
Stanislaw

An Old Dog's Discovery of a New Food Group

Big Pupi makes a reintroduction:

Hello my feaster friends! It's been quite some time since we've made note of our beastly goings-on. Too long! And with that thought I have a very important announcement to make.I have discovered a new food group.It's called Smoked Salmon, and it's THE MOST tongue-dance-y, tastebuddy-swirling thing I have ever had the pleasure of feasting upon. Now, I've heard that smoking is not good for you, but I'm sure glad these fishies took that risk because it made them DELICIOUS. Mom only lets us have little tastelets of the goodness, but I will be Supreme Good Boy for any scrap I can wrap my lips around. Mmm Mmm Mmm. Fishies.Due to the extreme amounts of nutrition and feastingness that this new food most definitely possesses, I have decided that it must be its own food group. I could live on it!! Because of this, I demand that my folks begin moving this into my normal meat rotations. Like, every Monday, Wednesday and Friday shall be Smoked Salmon feasting days. As well as the occasional Tuesday, Thursday and weekend. Sounds balanced to me. I just made a weekly meal plan. Other canines: take note of my vast nutritional knowledge. I have prepared a PowerPoint in case my humans need more convincing.
In other news, Stanislaw and I are doing quite well and we're enjoying our new home and warmer climate. I don't have to wear clothes nearly as often and I haven't seen my rubber boots in almost a year!!! Stanislaw does miss the snow but finds that mud is just as much fun to roll in. We're adjusting just fine.

The only downside of living here is that mom just can't seem to find a vet that she likes nearly as much as our Chicago doctor. I especially dislike this one doc that muzzled me and then declared me to be 9 years old instead of the my previously presumed 7. (This was after I thrashed and sufficiently kicked her behind and made her a sweaty mess. AWESOME!) Dude, that's like 14 years ahead of schedule. Sure, my teeth are a titch worn down and I've just about lost all my hearing, but have you SEEN my beastly attitude and rippling running muscles? Whatever lady. This spaniel-o-manliness shall never reveal his age. You just keep guessing.

Speaking of age... some folks say that you can't teach an old dog new tricks. Well, I've successfully proved them wrong. My mom got a trick idea from our buddies Mango and Dexter. For Christmas, Dad got us a blow-up peanut exercise ball and mom has been teaching us to balance on it. (By the way, do you like my carpet decorations??!!)Mom usually says that I make her look good and she actually has no clue how to actually train a dog. From my perspective, I can tell you that is absolutely true. She timed me from my first introduction to the balance ball to when I got the trick - 2 minutes. Yup. You read that right. The lazy human barely lifted a finger.
In the video (at the bottom of the post), she's both talking to me and using hand signals (off camera). I can't really hear her anymore, so I run off body language. But mom has learned that Stanislaw learns both the verbal and non-verbal cues by watching me to the trick and then copying what I do. He still doesn't quite get it, (he sits on the ball instead of balances and mom has to help him), but it's mostly there. Here are a pic of his manly rear placed on our balance ball.That's about all from us for now. It's about time I made my salmon presentation to my people. They have such short attention spans that I need to strike while they're focused in my direction. Sheesh. Some day I'll have them appropriately trained.

Your friend in feasting,
Big Pupi (and his brother, Stanislaw)

Tales of a Secret Howl

***
It's Big Pupi again:

My folks have had me for just about 5 years now, and in that time my mom has never ever heard me howl. She didn't believe dad when he told her that I burst into squealing song every time she takes Stanislaw out and leaves me home. The thing is, I will never howl as long as I know someone is home, and so the only times dad has ever heard me sing my secret melodies is when he's still in bed snoozeling and I can't see that he's home.

The requirements for a Secret Howl are rarely met, but on this particular early morning mom had to take Stan out for a second morning walk (he was having issues finding his poobles) and dad was still in bed. Convinced that I was alone, and without realizing that I was being filmed, I flexed the golden pipes and howled like a beast of frightening proportions.

My singing stuffy Elf, (whose proper name is Saint Elf de Apartment Next to Kitty Smell), gets me really revved up for a good howl. All that manly thrashing was caught on tape. The howling however... you can't see me do it, and so I'm letting you know now it wasn't me. There's no way that my testosterone-fueled voice can reach octaves that high. No way. Impossible. I think I've been framed.



My howl always has, and always will be, my secret howl.

Sorry mom. Better luck next time.
Big Pupi

Fumes and Flowers

Hey feaster folks! I'm here today to tell you all about my mostest favoritest thing: feasting.

Last week, my people made another one of those fabulous trips to the meat packer and came home with backpacks filled with deliciousness for my bro and me (mostly for me). In between my excitable shrieks I heard them talking about a special dinner that was planned for us, and man-oh-man let me tell you... it was CRAZY TASTY.
We each got a fresh marrow bone and a few ounces of succulent beefiness attached to its side. NICE! I'll have mine rare, please. That green stuff on the side is some broccoli and carrot baby food with a digestive enzyme hidden below.

Because these feastings were what my mom calls "project meals," my stinkbutt bro and I were made to eat in our crates. When we get feastables that require a bit of work, we tend to toss the meats about and sometimes can get into a growling match with each other. I don't know why they have a problem with me tossing my marrow bones around the apartment. I personally don't mind it one bit.
I LOVE my project feasts so much, my tail never stops waggling and I purr. I must have gotten to an especially good part of this feast at the end of this video because I start cooing really loudly:

It didn't take very long for me to finish and give my mom begging eyes for my next course. Certainly this was the appetizer, no?Big Pupi wanted to take his newly nakedized bone out of his feasting cage and onto the sofa for some quality snugs. My folks put a stop to that right away. They're always party poopers.This is my handiwork:Nice job, right? Because my bro and I went on a long run earlier that day my people thought we could use the extra calories and fat of a whole marrow bone. (Normally we're only allowed to eat 1/2 in a day.) But this time around... they were right!! My body needed that extra feasting so badly that it held onto it for another 24 hours, and my hiney tooted with joy and celebrations. I made sure to let everyone know what I had for dinner by baking air biscuits in the elevator and forcing people to abandon the ride early and take the stairs. They were probably running to get their own feasting marrow!! They can thank me for the dinner idea - and the extra exercise - some other time.

A few days after my feasting adventure my humans took my brother and me on a hiking adventure. SO FUN! It was a perfect day to drag dad around by his waist leash for a 7-mile bird-hunt through the woods.
I trudged ahead like the wild beast hunter extraordinaire that I am.
My brother is more of a gentle soul and observer of flora and fauna. (I prefer to eat flora and sometimes the fecal leavings of fauna - whatever "fauna" may be.)
We got super crazy muddy jumping into rivers and kicking up dusty trail dirt all over our bellies and legs. AWESOME! I enjoy a little grit between my toes. Everyone knows that hiking is all about getting filthy, testing the home cooking of the local wildlife while your people aren't looking, leaping head first into algae-coated water, and bringing about 10 ticks home on your ears.

I guess that last bit wasn't very much appreciated by my people because Big Pupi and I wound up getting a scrub down, having full body checks and getting our ear furs shaved down to nothing so those nasty little buggers could be plucked from our tasty meat-feasted bodies. Mom says we have pancake heads now, and I'd agree in BP's case~
~but nothing can take away from all the handsome on this face.
In the life of a beast there's nothing quite like an awesome feast to fuel an afternoon hunting in the woods. Yes. Yes, indeed.

Your good-looking, sweet-smelling, tick-free friend in feasting,
Stanislaw

Raw Food Diet, Day 572- Just Say 'No' to NASCAR

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Big Pupi might need anger management:

I never realized how much I detest NASCAR... until my mom came home with this toy. The evil, possessed little thing makes the most horrible growling sounds and is actually able to run away from me ON ITS OWN!! That's totally not kosher!!! Toys are supposed to be submissive, and accept their fate in my jaws. But this angry little bugger does not obey the rules and it just filled me with hatred and the need to bark and do some growling of my own. I REALLY don't like rule breakers!

It was time for me to release the beast, and the NASCAR toy got it. Try not to let the video or my rippling beast muscles of fury intimidate you. I can't help that I'm such an animal.

Rest in Pieces, evil toy.
Big Pupi

Raw Food Diet, Day 458- Will Do Tricks for Treats

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Big Pupi takes us on an outing:
Hey guys! The big beastly brother is reporting. Everything here has been pretty awesome. We've been feasting and playing and fast-hunting and I've been therapy-ing. Sweetness! We have some footage from my last trip to the hospital. No... we're not allowed to take pictures while inside, but I thought I'd share something that's 1/2 of the fun of therapy days: The trip there!

It's a wonderful walk to where the AwesomeMobile lives. I totally dig taking a stroll and getting coo-ed over by tourists and folks about town. It is just about the BEST way to start the day. Here's a little video of me on my merry way. (Yes I walk at the end of my leash but no, I don't pull. I'm just SO PUMPED I can't stand to hang back! There was a time when I pulled and trudged ahead like a savage... not too unlike my stinky brother. But I'm all about Good Boyness now!)

Music: "Free and Easy" by Dierks Bentley

On this particular morning I was feeling an extra bit of snarzle in my bum so I thrashed the heck out of mom's (not-so) dog-proof car seat cover and then sat tall to enjoy the ride. ...That is until she began to stick that flashy box in my face at every red light. I let her know that it was NOT appreciated by making Jowly Stink Face every time she took a photo.I have a great time sniffing sniffs and barking at this dude that's always selling newspapers at this one intersection. He never knocks on our window because I'm such a wild beast!

Therapy was great on this day, especially since this one little girl I had gotten to know over the past few months got to go home. I missed her and her crazy great belly rubs, but I was so happy that she no longer needed to be attached to tubes and a tall beeping machine. There was a fresh set of kids this time and although they were really tired and feeling a little icky, they were still able to gather up all their energy and play with me for a bit. Kids can't resist the mohawk!

On the ride home, I looked a bit more like this:
Actually, that was one of the only photos mom could get with my eyes open. I usually snore like a tractor the whole way home. Then it's another long walk home from the AwesomeMobile. I LOVE IT!

I've got a little bit of news for you folks...
I've been asked to be one of 2 therapy dogs giving a BIG presentation on the work that we do! Tomorrow I get to go to a school and show off my tricks, during 2 sessions, to almost 200 people! I am crazy excited. Mom and I have been working on my Good Boy behavior (heel on a loose leash, and STAY! while she tosses treats all around me - that one's hard!). We've also been tightening up my new tricks, and I've been learning lots!

It's been hard work, but so far I can read Sit, Down and Spin off flash cards, and we're adding Stay and Come. The last 2 are a bit iffy for me still since this is one SERIOUSLY difficult trick for me to pick up, but I'm getting really good at the first group. This trick drives people at therapy wild, especially the kids' parents. We need to entertain them too!

Another trick that's in the works is jumping rope. We haven't worked the rope in just yet, but I've learned to leap into the air whenever I see mom jump. I'm really good at it and stay tucked in pretty close to her. This one's not quite ready yet for the show, but we'll try to get a video of it once I have it down!

Finally, I've mastered my Take and Give (a stuffed toy) and I will Down Stay while balancing my stuffy pencil on my schnozzle. This isn't my favorite trick to do, but what they heck... I'll do just about anything for treats and praise!

Wish me luck tomorrow! I'll try to take photos and let you know how it all goes.

Practice makes perfect,
Big Pupi.

Raw Food Diet, Day 442- How to Eat an Easter Chicken

Take your time and chew those wings carefully. Savor the birdy flavor. Awww man. Crazy crunchy tasty! I really like chicken wings and I really LOVE being a bird dog.

Music: "Bird Dog" by The Everly Brothers

Raw Food Diet, Day 378- My Heart Is Full

Yesterday I was all relaxed and chillin' in my apartment, mentally preparing for a rainy day and all the Naughty Boy-ness I could get myself into, when my human came into the room with a box just for me. I got a whiff of the perfect little cube and my heart began to flutter.

Tape was sliced and bubble wrap removed, and to my absolute joy this made its way from that sweet-smelling package:Now, if I'm ever to share a turkey neck it'll be for this lady. That is the face of the finest beast around and I hear angles sing when I look at this photo. I never knew I could have it so badly for a blond.

Mom made a video of me checking out my wonderful Valentine's Day present from the lovely Paris Rain. Mom's talking all goofy which normally gets me a little excitable, but I'm telling you that this photo just about put me over the edge.

In the video you'll notice the many stages of love: I act shy and coy at first, but that's just flirting. Then I get territorial and I won't allow my stinky brother to get near my gal. After, it's all beastly grunting as I tell her of my love. Finally, I try to make out with the photo and give it some serious tongue action. How embarrassing mom caught that part on camera.

I am one seriously happy dude.

Paris is the meat in my bowl, the marrow in my bison bone and cheesiness in my string cheese. Boy do I think she is swell.

Happy (early) Valentine's Day everyone. May you all be as lucky in love.
Stanislaw

***
A little update and note by Stanislaw:

Guess what feasterinis! My mom took me and only me for a nice walk this morning to the bark park. I was a sort-of Good Boy on the way there. Then at the park I played and looked for bunnies, yelled at this husky for trying to mount me continually, and chased some dogs and stuff. Then, on the walk home I heeled the ENTIRE WAY on a loose leash and NEVER ONCE went into any obsessive behaviors, and on top of it all I didn't make a peep! No constant whining, no screaming or barking or anything!!! Instead, I Sat Like Good Boy at all the red lights, did some Watch Me and accepted treats from my mom. Normally I'm too crazed to eat or focus on any task. But today, I kept making eye contact on my own WHILE HEELING and every time I did it I got tons of delicious feastables! Also, every so often mom would let me get a little ahead of her and then tell me to Stanley Come! and I would flip around and skip right back to her. This Good Boy-ness continued for the entire mile walk home. Did I mention that I was heeling on the right AND left sides?

I am one heck of a Good Boy! In fact, this was by far the very best walk I've ever had - a major breakthrough for me. I may finally be getting the upper paw on this anxiety thing after all. My folks are crazy proud of me today.

I think I like this Good Boy stuff.

Raw Food Diet, Day 308: At Odds and Ends

Hey folks! I've been missing once again. Well, I haven't actually been missing, but my crazy female person (who shall remain nameless, MOM!) has been less than efficient with updating my blog. Turns out that work can get busy before the holidays and more work makes for lazy humans in their down-time. Speaking of work, my dad told me that he's taking a few days off to do something called "study" for his final exams. I'm not sure what this "study" is, but knowing my dad I think it has something to do with feasting on meat and rubbing my belly. Sweetness! And now speaking of feasting...

I heard that the humans spent a day last week playing with other humans and chowing down on turkey necks. WHAT??!! And I was left at camp with my stinkbutt brother. I'm not knocking camp (which is totally awesome) but I'm not pleased to have missed out on some delicious meatiness. To add insult to lack of feasting, all the other dogs at camp got a special meal full of turkey, mashed potatoes and green beans, and Big Pupi and I got NONE OF IT!! The alpha humans at camp said something about "allergies," but I tuned them out. I just wasn't interested in human garble if they don't come bearing some bird in a bowl.

We got back from camp yesterday, and I had a hard time keeping my eyes open. Knowing that my big browns are my best feature, I fought them like crazy trying to oozle some skritches from the folks but it just wasn't working. I found a nice warm spot to nap and spent much of the evening sprawled out there. Good thing my nice warm spot was also exhausted from a day of traveling.

Any time I come back from camp, which is the Place of Free-Poobles and Weebles-As-You-Please-els, I have some issues getting my bum to cooperate and work with the house rules. Just this morning, in a span of about 15 minutes, I poobled in the hallway, weebled outside like Good Boy, poobled in the elevator and did a third round of poobles in the hallway again. Man. That bum of mine is made to run free and doesn't like the rules! He's a Naughty Boy. I want my folks to know that I am in no way responsible for the actions of my rear. It's got a mind of its own.

To make up for my absence, I prepared a little video for you that shows how different my dorky brother and I are when we play. Big Pupi is an Angel Boy and he entertains himself for hours by nibbling quietly on a stuffy. Me, on the other paw, I enjoy some good roughhousing and believe that Fun just doesn't happen unless there's someone else there to play with. This particular game of Footy Sock/Toy Tuggin' with dad is unusually tame for me. I like it better when I get pushed around and my folks get rough and wrastle with me. What can I say? I'm a beast and need to play as such.



Time to catch up with all my bloggin' buds.

Feast hard,
Stanislaw

Raw Food Diet, Day 287- Going Nutty

Holy Feasting! Today mom had to go to a human vet to get some skin pricks before she's able to volunteer with my brother at hospitals. I got all depressed and upset that she was totally abandoning us and leaving us at home without any humans around for entertainment. Where were my people to provide me with feasts?!

Well, when she returned she pulled a jar full of some of the most delicious treats I have ever laid my tongue on. PEANUT BUTTER! I would trade all of my bully sticks for a spoonful of the good stuff. When that lid was popped and the fresh peanutty aroma of goodness reached my spaniel nostrils I lost all control and began to vibrate from schnozzle to bum.

IsThatForMe?!!?? I couldn't keep my thoughts straight. I saw a human feasting tool swirling about in that magical jar and when it appeared it was dripping with buttery feasts!My mom, (who is usually dorky but on rare occasions like this she is totally cool), took big globs and smooshed it into Pupi's and my treat balls. Pupi gets the Everlasting Fun Ball because he's a gentle jawed boy:
And his manly beastly brother (me!) got the mondo-sized kong for mega chewers.
After mom let us lick off the spoon which took a while and lots of nose licks because it's so sticky, and then it was fabulous peanutty tasting time! My eyes bulged from my face in pure delight.
My dorky brother, in his usual dainty way, gingerly lapped at his feast-filled treat ball.
I wonder if I could hunt down these peanut butter creatures outside and eat them! Do you think those tasty squirrels are responsible? I know they're up to something.... maybe it's making peanut butter!
Mom set out towels for us to lie on and play with our treats, but we just weren't having it. Big Pupi went straight to the carpet.
I zoomed to the sofa. Mom made me jump off while she put the towels on there and then I was allowed to resume my tasty snacking in comfort, which is how I should be allowed to eat all the time.
Aw man. It was SO GOOD! I refused to believe that the toys had been emptied and I kept digging at them for hours after the tastiness had been eaten. My tongue-polisher licked them both to a nice shine. Even then I kept looking for more. I couldn't stop myself! I'm starting to think that I need a program to help me with this new addiction. I've got peanut butter on the brain and just can't seem to shake it. I'm totally cool with 12 steps, as long as they each involve finding me some more peanut butter. I need to feast!



Big Pupi enjoyed his tastiness so much, he kept winking, and I lost complete control of my tail.

You guys have got to get yourself some of this! And I've got to get myself some more!!
Stanislaw

Raw Food Diet, Day 255- A Day of Firsts

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Big Pupi did something new today:

Today, for the very first time ever in my adopted life...

...I killed a stuffy. I chewed right through his evil schnozzle.

Then I ripped his guts out through his face.

Now I'm not a violent dog. In fact, I've never chewed through a stuffy before (but I have been known to take part in some destuffing if Stanislaw made his way through some fuzzy flesh). I have stuffed toys that are so old and so gross that mom has to toss them just for that reason. They never have any damage aside from the right ear which I insist on removing on each of my toys. Why do I do that? I could tell you but then I'd have to destuff you.

I don't know what got into me. Maybe it's the sudden lack of chicken that's left me feeling detoxed and sprightly. Perhaps it's those energizing B vitamins we've recently added to our food. Maybe I was motivated by the fact that it was Stan's tug stuffy and not one from my precious lot. I don't know... but whatever it was it has me feeling so strange. So daring. So.... NAUGHTY.

So I gave that stuffed raccoon a facelift and boy did I teach him a lesson!

Watch out for these jaws o' destruction,
Big Pupi

Raw Food Diet, Day 252- Tricks are for Treats

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Big Pupi's update:

I've got another video update for you! After a grand total of 45 minutes of training I've made some really great progress in my hula trick. "Go in" and "hula" have been smooshed together, and now I have to spin THREE TIMES before mom will give me feasts! I've mastered the double spin but sometimes I forget to go 'round that last time and need reminding. I'm catching on. You'll also notice that mom is standing farther away and her hand signals have gotten smaller so I've got to pay extra close attention to see what's going on. Thanks to Niamh's person, my mom no longer "baits" me with treats in her command hand, so I'm not as focused on getting that tasty and instead I'm working through my trick much more smoothly. My hula leap is still there but I'm phasing it out as I realize that efficiency is key to earning treats!

You'll also see Stanislaw going through his paces. He now must hula 2 times before he gets treats and he's learning that the hula hoop isn't so scary after all. He'll be jumping through it in no time! Stan is also practicing his "go in" but he's still too nervous to spin inside the hoop. He's not very aware of his footing as of yet and when he kicks the hoop it spooks him. Our people think this is a great opportunity to boost Stan's confidence so they'll be working extra hard on him!

Well, my class is today. I'll let you know how it all goes! And next up on the trick circuit is "shake." That one is 3 years in the making but with all the great advice we've received we're hoping to have it down in a week.

Wish me luck!

Big Pupi

Raw Food Diet, Day 248- Tricks are for Kids

Hi guys!

Big Pupi's fancy shmancy folding hula hoop arrived 3 days ago and we've been learning all sorts of new tricks. It scares me a little bit with its bright colors and evil circular shape, so I keep my distance. Big Pupi, on the other hand, isn't afraid of much and he took to it right away. To both of us the hoop means treats and training and we get so excited whenever it appears!

Pupi learned to jump through the hoop in all of 2 seconds because it's so similar to the tire jump in agility. I'm still learning that approaching that spooky thing is okay. The next trick he's working on is a bit more complicated, and he's still in the beginning stages. Mom got the idea for this trick from Niamh, who is learning how to do it herself! It's the doggie hula hoop: first we run out to a hoop lying flat on the floor, get in the middle and SPIN! Neither Pupi nor I are natural spinners. In fact, I don't think we've ever spun in our lives, so mom had to introduce it to us anew. We call it "hula," and we're catching on!

Mom always says that Pupi makes her look good, because it generally takes him 5 minutes or less to pick something up. She doesn't have to do much! Well, it wasn't 2 minutes before he mastered the "go in," which is the command to get into the middle of the hoop. The spinning however, took a whole 10 minutes (gasp!) before he started to understand what mom was asking for, and he's still a bit shaky on it. To mom's surprise, I picked up the "hula" command before Pupi did just by watching his lessons! I am brilliant!! (But it's a selective genius... mainly used for feasting, hunting and breaking into garbage cans...)

Anyway, as time goes on mom will add distance to her commands so Pupi will eventually head way out to the hoop and spin a few times. Hopefully by next week we'll have another video of Pupi being the hooping master and me jumping through that rainbow monster. We'll see. It's still too scary for me now and we have lots of work to do.

Here's a little video of the trick after 15 minutes of training. We do quick 5-minute training sessions whenever mom finds a few minutes to string together. The trick is still in its parts and Pupi is yet to squish them all into one solid command. Pupi also added his own style to the spinning routine, by incorporating a nice little leap in the middle of his rotations. And for your viewing pleasure, you'll also see me - Master of the Meat - working on my hooples hula routine!

**Just a note, mom says "sorry" for the shaky camera. She was training and video taping herself. Also, you'll see mom's hand quite a bit because we train with hand signals. It's SO MUCH easier for us to learn that way!

Music by Bob Schneider

We LOVE learning our tricks and we're determined to have this down before Pupi's next therapy class in a few days. The class theme is Personal Tricks, and he plans to show them all what he's made of. Considering you are what you eat, I'd say that I'm made of feasting deliciousness. It doesn't take a classroom full of dogs to figure that one out.

Putting tasty information in my brain,

Stanislaw

PS- Big Pupi is a super crazy fast learner for almost anything... except "shake." He can weave through poles, knows the difference between Left and Right, but mom has NEVER been able to teach him how to give his paw! This is a great and simple trick for a therapy dog to know and she wants him to learn it. Any advice?

Birthday Feast, Part Trzy (Three)

Raw Food Diet, Day 161- Pupi Was a Naughty Boy!

Personally, I like to make sure that I get in my daily ration of Naughty Boy every single day. Whether it's screaming on walks, begging for food at the table, or hopping onto the human crate, I've just got to get a little bit of disobedience out of my system on a regular basis. Big Pupi, on the other hand, spends most of his afternoons polishing his halo and otherwise kissing up to the humans. What a total nerd! And to make matters worse, he makes me look bad. I mean, he will Sit Stay for a long long time. I will Sit Stay for as long as it takes for my bum to hit the ground and then spring back up again. So what if I don't have any attention span to speak of? I'm cute, right? Can't they look past the Naughty?

So anyway, you can see why I'd be so excited at the fact that Pupi was Naughty Boy yesterday. And me? Well, I was a little angel sent from the skies above. Sunday was a pretty hot day for us, so our humans decided to take us on a short walk to the Store of Toys and Feasting, where they picked up some tasty dehydrated lamb lung treats and a set of raw bison bones. On our way home we stopped at a little park to play with a miniature schnauzer for a bit and give our bones a little time to thaw in the heat. Then it was back home for feasting!

Our people set up our feasting cages with a plastic tablecloth to keep the floor clean while we chew, and to prevent us from taking our raw marrow bones to our favorite chewing places - the sofa and carpet. It was one tasty, marrow-ey, raw bison femur-y, treat of deliciousness!

Mom set us in there with strict instructions to stay put as long as we were feasting on femur. I was an obedient son and kept in my place, making little throaty noises of feasting ecstasy while working out all that rich marrow. Pupi, on the other hand, decided to go against the human rules and started to plot his escape.

After some time working on his bone, Pupi wasn't hungry any more and was suddenly overcome with an urge to bury his femur somewhere in the apartment... the feasting cage just would not do for a proper bone-hiding. And so, my generally angelic, normally perfect brother broke the rules! But that silly, brazen boy... the first thing he did was trot right up to mom who was sitting at her computer, and he proudly showed her his recently emancipated femur bone. She plopped him right back into the feasting cage and set up a camera to see just how this naughty boy made his escape.

Let's just say that this happened a few times and Pupi did not get the hint that femurs must stay in the cage. That bad boy had his bone taken away, and then he began harassing me while I was being Good Boy with my bone! This started an all-out barking war, and when mom came by to separate us I let out a little growl at her (oops) and promptly lost my femur bone privileges. I hate my brother! I blame it entirely on him! At least mom put the femurs in the fridge for more feasting later. My bratty brother better not cause any issues with me then! Or else... or else I'll mark over all of his territory! Ha!

Watch out for those siblings,

Stanislaw

Raw Food Diet, Day 149- It's Raining Cats Outside

By late yesterday afternoon, I had come to truly enjoy my masculine lake stench that had been brewing on my body since my trip to Beastville.  The sofa cover, my crate blankies, and the chair in the office had all taken on the gentlest breeze of the scent, and I was eyeing the human crate for my next stink-making move.  Mom came over to me and unbuckled my collar, which I originally thought was to expose more fur and aid me in my stinkifying of the household, but NO.  I had been terribly and cruelly duped into trusting that evil human.  She appeared with venison jerky and had me follow her into the bathroom.  I thought she was going to ask me to add my smell to her towels!  But NO!  

That brat bathed me.
And she bathed Big Pupi too.
Now I smell as fresh as a flower and I couldn't be more disgusted at myself.  And to add insult to injury, she took my fur AGAIN - only this time she took so much that I can no longer be considered a true beast.  My mud-catching leg fur had been reduced to such an extent that it leaves nothing to the imagination.  I am one skinny, lanky boy and now the world knows! 

I had originally heard that the reason for yet another fur robbery was because I've been getting too hot on walks, and this would keep me a little cooler.  I was looking forward to testing out this theory during my morning medium-speed hunt, but I woke to find it raining cats outside!  The weebles zone outside my door has transformed into luscious, spongy mud, fresh with the probable run-off from the port-a-potties that are STILL there from this weekend's city-wide Music Festival.  Mom, PLEEEEASE??  This cleanliness is sickening!  Big Pupi's paws are WHITE, and that is entirely unpleasant.  I know he prefers to keep them a soothing grey-brown color, and I find his sweetly-scented whiteness blinding.  We need to remedy this!

Since I'm trapped inside on this depressing day, and since I've been forced to miss out on my daily medium-speed hunt, I am a ball of electricity making my way through the apartment.  Mom sometimes wishes that I could be used as a power source -- perhaps invest in a hamster wheel of sorts and have me run to my heart's content.  Well, mom, my heart is not happy unless there is dirt and stink and possibly a dead bird or two to roll in and play with, and I will continue to take this pent-up fury out on you and on our apartment.

My plans for this morning are this:

1. poke mom in the arm with my nose while she attempts to work

2. bark at Squirrel until she picks him up

3. tug, thrash, growl until I get Squirrel and I win!

4. run into the living room with Squirrel, notice that no one is following me, return to the office

5. repeat

Kinetically yours,

Stanislaw

Raw Food Diet, Day 120- I Said No No No

Yesterday was Memorial Day and Big Pupi and I got to go for a slow hunt through downtown to the park.  Our humans sat on a bench and watched a water-spitting monster while my brother and I kept a look-out for squirrels.  I tried to be Have but I couldn't control myself and screamed the entire time we were out.  It was a hot day and my over-excitement made me one steamy boy and we had to cut our walk short so I could cool off.  Big Pupi was a good boy as usual and he even sat nicely for a photograph:

I was a savage beast and looked a little bedraggled for my photo shoot:
You can see my tongue freckle in this picture.

While we were out I overheard my humans talking about an Animal Be Have-iorist and I thought that this particular beast sounded rather dull.  Having Have just doesn't make you much fun.  But then I heard them mention that I could use a little rehab so I can learn how to be Have, stop my screaming, and to remedy my lack of Walk Like Good Boy.  My mom even shot some video clips to send to the Be Have-iorist beast so that she could see what she was getting herself into.  

I told my humans that they can try to make me go to rehab, but I say No No No!

Here's a video of my manly screams, potted plant obsession, and bizarre need to squeeze myself through anything that is remotely fence-like... even if I'm not actually fenced in.  They just don't know how exciting and scary life is from 2 feet off the ground!  I refuse to be a wallflower, and my screaming gets me attention from humans and animals for miles around.  I refuse this rehab!  A handsome, manly boy like me deserves all of the attention he can get!! 

Raw Food Diet, Day 117- You're Feeling Sleepy...

This video was filmed 2 days ago, when we got back from the doctor's office. Big Pupi gets so stressed when he's at the Place of Tile and Steel that he can barely keep his eyes open when we get home. He also likes to hold a toy in his mouth because it soothes him after an exhausting afternoon. There was some quality napping afterwards!

Raw Food Diet, Day 115- Chat with Stanley!

He's a man of few words...

...but those ears are made for listening.

A Moving Movie

For my buddy Beckett~

Big Pupi and I were super helpful when we moved with our humans last October.  In fact, my humans made a little video to remember the specialness of the occasion.  Packing is super fun because there's a lot of ripping and unwrapping to do, and masking tape makes a tasty chew toy.

Good luck with your move!