Saturday, February 6, 2010

I Can't Believe My Feast-Finding Peepers

Big Pupi writes in fear:

To my absolute horror I have discovered that my mom's torturous reach has extended far beyond my hallowed home. For this, my fellow canines, I am sorry.

Many of you may remember my brother and me being subjected to such cruelty... an act that many humans would call "getting toasty" or "bundling up." I grow furs for these purposes and do not need my manliness compromised by the crushing nerdification and undignified "doggy sweater." And to add insult to fuzzy cotton/blend knittings, my mom sells said devices-of-horror in her Etsy shop. It would seem that her reach is far greater than I ever anticipated.

Sure, it gets cold where I live. So cold, in fact, that if my danglies hadn't been cut off they'd have frozen off about 2 years ago. But when donning such cozy duds I must turn my face away from my friends, lest they recognize me and commence mocking. Could you even imagine if they caught me in this?

or (GASP!) this??Okay, okay... so that skull one is a little bit more bad@ss and more befitting of a beast of my proportions. But how do you think Stanislaw feels being forced to step out in public in this??Can you just FEEL the desperation on our faces? The sadness? The WARM AND SNUGLY HUMILIATION??

Brace your beastly selves. It only gets worse.

Mom has attacked one of my nakedest and shriekingly beastly friends.
Photo courtesy of Tadpole's Life Pond

Oh my dearest Tadpole. See how he cringes? Watch as he is forced into a zen-like state of meditations just to keep himself from totally panicking and heading for the snow-covered hills.
Photo courtesy of Tadpole's Life Pond

And take note of the concern on his sister's face. She can't bring herself to say it, but I know that Fig is contemplating this sudden and shocking lack of raging beast that was once the great and masculine Tadpole.
Photo courtesy of Tadpole's Life Pond

Oh Taddy I feel your pain. In fact, I think I shall call you T-Pain from now on. Perhaps a career in rapping will restore your street cred. Just don't do it in that sweater.

I just can't believe this...

Big Pupi


Audrey said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Scottie the 'Cutie' said...

I think your Mom is super cool making those sweaters! My Mom can't do squat of those...LOL! And you guys don't look all look CHIC! *wink*


Niamh said...

This is truly horrifying Big Pupi! We never want to have to wear sweaters. Fortunately we are very big so it would take a long time to knit us sweaters. I hope you don't have to wear them too often.

Your friends,
Niamh & Ambrose

Lorenza said...

Hi, Big Pupi!
Your mom is an artist!
I love the sweaters!
I am a crazy girl who wears a t-shirt and a sweater when is cold!
Take care
Kisses and hugs

Anonymous said...

You might want to alert the authorities. Maybe they can take her into custody until she promises not to de-masculinize any more innocent pups...


tadpole said...

Oh Big Pupi. I am afraid even to speak, lest I lose even MORE street cred in your eyes. But in deference to your mom (who - most importantly - DOES provide the feasts in your house) I must be utterly honest and admit that...
*whispers* I like my sweater.

Okay fine. I'll throw it all in the ring. I LOVE WEARING SWEATERS AND MY GIRL WANTS TO ORDER EVEN MORE FROM YOUR MOM'S SHOP BECAUSE THEY ARE THE BESTEST SWEATERS I HAVE EVER PUT ON MY NAKED, COLD BODY. And if you want to freeze your cold little bum off in the freezing streets of Chi-town, SEND YOUR SWEATERS MY WAY because your mom said we're close to the same size. SO THERE.

Ay yo trip - gonna rep' yo mama's duds for shizzle.

Khyra The Siberian Husky And Sometimes Her Mom said...

I bet woo've got furiends that would eat that sweater with the skhwirrel on it!

PeeEssWoo: Nice stuff fur those of woo needing the extra heat! Me? Mine is built on!

Mack said...

Your mom is uber talented. Tadpole should be proud!

kissa-bull said...

we feel your pain most beastly one
our mommish recently bought us some of those horros too
can you ever imagen a pibble is woggies sweaters
oh the torture

Dog Foster Mom said...

Poor puppies - can't your mom see what she's done to you? She's made you even more cute and adorable than before! Hopefully warm weather will be here soon!

Fenway said...

You keep those things away from me!!!!

Oh, and thanks for your BIS vote.

Fen came in second. But, more importantly, after we read the dog's resumes we asked to have all his votes "donated" to Clive, who is a wonderful therapy dog for an autistic child named Murray.

Sometimes you just gotta do the decent thing!

Schwang said...

Oh, those are so cute. Do they ever come in extra-large pittie size?

Ludo van Doggy said...

That's when you gotta worry, it like a jumper -er, sweater epidemic!
~lickies, Ludo

Tadpole said...

Stan and BP! Are you guys okay? We did not feel the earthquake down here, but we thought about you guys up there! Hope everyone is safe and sound....

オテモヤン said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Scout 'n Freyja said...

ALL of you look so cute in your little sweaters and coats. We are way too big for clothes. Momma says that her sons would laugh if she dressed us up but we do like to change our collars for the seasons and wear bandannas on the holidays☺

Agatha and Archie said...

Although absolutely adorable we are sorry to say that those sweaters would last 1 nano second on us....bite em right off we would..We are not so into fashion like you guys..Love and kisses A+A

Sophie Brador said...

Your mom has an Etsy shop? She is awesome. Mom loves that grey one with the squirrels. Does she make Mr. Pickle Pants sized sweaters?


Tad's Girl said...

This is Tadpole's girl... Tad's afraid to comment following BP's judgmental remarks regarding sweater-wearing, but this is so cute I had to share:

My brother walked into the house yesterday and Tad didn't have any clothes on. He noticed Tad was shivering and went to the other room to grab a sweater. As soon as he picked up his new sweater, Tad JUMPED up and RAN into the room and TWIRLED in circles wagging his tail because he was so excited that my brother was going to put his sweater on him! :-) My brother said "he jumped right into it, and lifted up his arms to be put into the arm holes and then was so happy!" He thought it was hilarious that Tad loves it so much - hee!

It IS his favorite, by far :-)

Eric said...

Big Puppiyou look adorable eeerrr I mean HORRIBLE in those cute woolly pullys.Mom was squeeling at the sight of you. Guess your beastly manliness frightened her off. A question do you move in those things? Mom puts one on mean and I sitstay forever.You think she has an ulterior motive?

Wiry love and paws up to your Momfor her snazzy jumpers, she'ssooper talented.

Wiry loves Eric xxxx

R said...

hey dude, we can't find your email address, its Joe and his Mom.

Can you pee mail us, josephstains @ gmail. com

minus the spaces cuz you know the spam bit.