Raw Food Diet, Day ? (We're seriously off track)

So, at some point our counting went completely bananas because January 30th was our 2-year anniversary of feasting on raw meatables. Seriously... get with the program MOM!! Even I can add better than you. Check it:

1 goat
+ 2 rabbits
+ 7 oz. green tripe
+ 1.5 chickens cut into quarters
____________
1 majorly delicious feast fit for a Stanislaw

See? My IQ is 234,003. My friend at the bark park has his PhD and he gave me the test, so I KNOW that number is correct. Don't even try to argue, mom. Your IQ is 7. My friend told me that too.

Anyways, we're sorry for being so absent lately. My humans are so busy with work and school and making sure there's cheese money for my feasts that there just hasn't been much time. But don't fret, I am still a spoiled beast and have been kept in fleece blankies and tasty chewies. I'm really good at not letting stress get to me...

...unless mom appears with the buzzy beard-stealing machine. In the cruelest of cruel acts she removed my manliness. I mean, C'MON!! She said something about "stink" and "matts" and I assured her that I don't give a flying poople about those things if it means I have to end up looking like this:Horrors! Do you see the crazy frowny face I've got going on? But I do enjoy giving my bro a hard time about his shaved dorkiness. I can't even believe that one dog could possess such a high degree of dork!

I mean, my bro is so nerdy he's all about being Good Boy. He even passed his 2010 therapy dog certification test with 152 out of 150 points. Yes, you read that right. He knows so many tricks that he got 2 extra points for it. And mom didn't even have time to study with him! He just did it all and was all about feasting on cheesy bits. I don't get it. To top it off, he was welcomed into a second therapy program that has a 1.5 year waiting list... and he got right in. WHAT GIVES? I'm a fun dude and like to play with kids. You just jump all over them and lick their faces, right? I CAN DO THAT!!! I'm really GOOD at that!!!

We haven't been totally out of the loop and with much excitement we threw our hats into the ring for our first year of Mango Minster. It's totally awesome. I'm in for the Sporty category because that's where the beasts belong and Big Pupi is up for Working because that's where the dorky Good Boy dogs go. WHATEVER! Please vote for us! We're in for some major competition with the other canines in our groups.

'Tis all for now, my beastly friends. Stay toasty, which I would do if mom didn't take all my manly furs. It's time for a dude-like prancing in protest.

Stanislaw