Friday, September 26, 2008

Raw Food Diet, Day 241- O-bla-di, O-bla-da, O-No!

***

Belly-banded Big Pupi whines:

To say that I am not a happy camper is putting it lightly.  I thought I was unstoppable.  I had superpowers.  I was one heck of a cocker spaniel.  I have been taken down a notch... or three.  It was only last week when I paid a visit to the Place of Tile and Steel and received the marks of a grade-A pup:

The doctor thought I looked wonderful!  I got all the highest scores for my therapy dog health forms.  There was a great big CHECK next to "Yes!  This dog is healthy and capable of performing all of the duties necessary."  And then there was this on the form:

I'm king!  The doctor said that my weight is fabulous and my fitness level is superb.  She gave me a little temperament test and I passed with flying colors!  My eyes were bright, my tummy good and I was just full of energy.  But one week later...

Okay, folks.  When it rains it pours in this place, so to speak.  Sometimes it makes mom feel like she's got Munchhausen Syndrome.  One vet visit usually begets 2 more, keeping that "Rule of 3" theory alive and well.  This time was no different, as I found myself at the horrid Place of Tile and Steel again this month.  I've survived the trifecta.  First, Stanislaw and I caught 24-hour Bordatella.  Then there was my health screening which came out a-ok.  And now there is a rather sensitive issue...

This is kind of personal - I have an angry weeble.  

It's a little bit UTI and a little bit weeble infection.  The humans believe they know where this came from, and that too is rather embarrassing.  I won't get too far into it but my man parts are rather... manly... and sometimes come in contact with items I am marking in my territory.  Seeing that downtown Chicago isn't particularly clean, I probably picked something up.  Gross!  I've got antibiotics and anti-inflammatory meds, and I also have this:

DO YOU KNOW WHERE THAT GOES???!!!

Needless to say, I am not very cooperative during my daily treatment.  It's a good thing mom isn't squeamish!  To add insult to injury, I was sent home from the doctor's office with a nice big e-collar that I was supposed to sport around town.  Yeah right!  Since I'd get it caught on things and then panic, mom strapped me into Stanislaw's old belly band from when he had separation anxiety and would do his weebles all over the apartment.  Since that's rather small on me (it was sized for Stan when he was a super skinny boy) she's also fastened dishtowel coverings complete with humongous maxi pads inside for easy changing and cleanliness.  This is just too humiliating!

In typical Big Pupi fashion, I'm acting like nothing's wrong.  The only sign that I'm a little uncomfortable sometimes is my desire to tend to my sore area which the belly bands prevent me from doing.  Otherwise I'm spending my days thrashing my meowing kitty toy and nibbling on my duck stuffy.  I'm getting better super fast and hope to join my folks on a fast hunt by Monday.

So, hopefully this is it for Stanislaw and me at LEAST for the rest of the year.  I'm just about feeling like my mighty self again!  And I'm so beyond ready to get this ridiculous diaper contraption off my bum!  Time to walk circles under mom's chair and legs for the next hour.  I have make certain she doesn't forget to give me dinner feasts!

Stay healthy,

Big Pupi

11 comments:

Mack said...

Dude,
That's really rough. Sorry about the weebles infection. Paris is just now getting over her ear infection. It's been a bad month for cockers in general, I think!

Maggie and Mitch said...

How awful for you Big Pupi! We hope the infection clears up fast so you can get that nasty contraption off you!

Love ya lots,
Maggie and Mitch

Fenway said...

Big Pupi in Pampers???

I can't believe it...you were my role model for hunting, thrashing and general beastliness.

But wait....since you got your infection 'cause you're unusually endowed down below, I need to reconsider your status.

You 'da MAN Pupi. Wear them diapers with a grin.

Niamh said...

Good grief Big Pupi! That plastic tube looks like an instrument of torture. And I feel for you having to wear that belly band and pads. Before I was spayed I had to wear panties when I went into season and it was mortifying.

I'm glad your feeling better and up to feasting and thrashing your stuffies. Take care of yourself.

Your friend,
Niamh

Joe Stains said...

oh dear, I don't even want to THINK about where that thing goes.

the 4 Bs said...

oh Pupi, this sounds awful. what humiliation. poor you. one time, i, Bailey, had a little infection on my 'noodle' and mom had to put medicine on it. eeekkk. mom, you're not gonna touch me THERE! is what i said, but she had to put some icky ointment on it and well, i won't go into any more details, but these things happen, dude. i feel your pain and embarrasment. just get better fast, okay? we want to hear about you doing some therapy!

woofs.

Biggie-Z said...

Man oh Man your Mom has to treat your weeble with THAT?!?! My Momma is cringing and she doesn't even HAVE a weeble!

Feel better and keep your weeble off of stuff, ok? You don't have to get that close if you can just point it where you want to mark.

Your friend in raw,
Biggie

Charlie Daniels said...

G'day Big Pupi

Do you mean to tell me they stick that thing up your ... nose! How does that help the UTI?

I'm blushing for you buddy!

Cheers

Charlie

Petey said...

Poor Big Pupi! Just tell anyone who asks that you just stepped out of the shower to answer the phone and wrapped a towel around your waist.

Hope you feel better soon!

Your pal,

Petey

Scottie the 'cutie' said...

Hi Big Pupi!

Sorry to hear about you having to endure quite a bit of uneasiness! I cannot imagine what it would feel like when you had to take the meds down there...>.<" Hope you are doing excellent by now, and won't have to wear the diaper thingy (although Mom says you look cute in it!)

Scottie

FleasGang said...

Wow, when people refer to "the mean streets of Chicago", they really mean it! Glad your weeble is working again and you don't have to wear that ridiculous contraption.

Licks
Shelly