Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Raw Food Diet, Day 295- Swizzle Butt

This weekend was kind of snoozely for us canines, so when we FINALLY got out for a run we were a little loopy. We ran a mile down to the bark park, and the combination of excitement from off-leash-ness with the cold wintry air put an extra snarzle in our bums. We went crazy! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!I ran myself so hard that I HAD to place my belly in a puddle of melted snow just to cool off. I just had my leg pits shaved so that cold water felt crazy good. A quick dip and I was back in action!
Pupi and mom played Fetch and for the first time ever I chased the ball and zoomed like a beast past my brother and got it! I even picked it up and Fetched it! I've NEVER done that before, and I will only pick up a tennis ball if it's broken. I must have really been feeling my Beasties this morning.

Sometimes I'd get distracted and drop the ball mid-Fetch, and Pupi would nab it and trot back to mom like he's the king of Fetch. No way! I was just busy working on my speediness and Olympic racing techniques.
We found one little patch of sun and zoomied about in it for a bit.
Big Pupi did Good Boy Fetch some more (like a total dork!) but sometimes he'd lose the ball when stopping to weeble on a tree. Usually he was pretty good though.
There was a pretty lady dog there and Pupi would prance about for her, showing off the tennis ball and his manly stride. She was less than amused.
I spent a lot of time snarfeling about, looking for that tasty rabbit feast I know lives outside of these gates. When I see him I scream as loud as I possibly can and ALL the other hunting dogs in the park join me at the gate for a good yowl and bunny watch.
It must have been too cold for that delicious nibblet to be out today.
We had a super awesome time. I got to play with a little 4-year old boy who was with his mom at the park. I LOVE kids! Especially little roughhousing male human pups. His face was at perfect Stanislaw-licking height and his gloves were super fun to tug on. Mom didn't get any photos because she was worried I'd knock him over. C'mon mom. It only happened once! And he laughed! Duh. I KNOW what I'm DOING!

We smiled the whole time at the park.
And after all that lunatic racing we started to slow down.
We got really slow. Heck... I was sitting.
Mom wrangled us together and we ran all the way home. When we got back dad was home for lunch!! Super awesomeness! I got to slobber all over dad's nice work pants and then I feasted hard on a post-running feast before flopping over to my side and snoozeling the afternoon away. After nappies I tried to learn how to write because I wanted to pencil another trip to the bark park in on the calendar for tomorrow. And the next day. And every day. That's a lot of writing.

Dang this dewclaw,

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Raw Food Diet, Day 293- Mom is on my Pooble List

So. My grandhuman came to visit me this week and I BARELY got to shed on her. I hardly had a moment to rub my stink all over her sweater! What's going on here?! I squeezed in some snug time but it was less than satisfactory. To add insult to complete boredom, I spend most of the time doing this:Ack! Dull! What gives??

My mom and my grandma spent most of their time out of the apartment, away from me, and they were shopping. My mom HATES shopping so why didn't she take me along for entertainment? I'm a fun guy! My dad wasn't invited to join them either so I think there was some sort of stinky secret women's club going on and us manly beastly men just weren't invited. Chicks are crazy. I just don't get them.

I managed to overhear my humans talking about some sort of wedding gown trunk show that my mom and grandma were attending. I have no interest in "gowns" - whatever they may be - but I would have LOVED to see the trunks. ELEPHANTS! My idols! They are the biggest beasts of all and I could have LEARNED something from them. But no! I was left behind. No trunks and elephant shows for this little man. Life is SO not fair.

As if it couldn't get any worse, my people returned after all this so-called "shopping" and they had NOTHING for me. No treats. No toys. Zip-o. Nothing. Why... they weren't shopping at all! They didn't even SMELL like the Place of Treats and Toys. Liars! Mom made up some silly story about buying a "gown" that won't arrive until March of next year. I have no concept of time so this means nothing to me. And "gowns" just don't sound tasty so this is of no interest to me either. These ladies have to get their acts together.

Did I mention that I was BATHED before grandhuman arrived? And for WHAT?? Grrrrrrrowl.

I think mom has earned herself an afternoon in Time Out. Bad human. Bad.


Thursday, November 13, 2008

Raw Food Diet, Day 290- On Preparing for My Guest

I found out just last night that my grandhuman is coming to visit! Can't you see my excitement?No really... I'm super pumped. It's been a year since I last slobbered on my grandhuman and I can't wait to do it again. I'm a bigger beast now and even better at it. We're talking full slobber coverage now! Sweetness. I hope she's ready!

To Prepare for grandhuman's arrival, Big Pupi and I made sure that the apartment was up to snuff and ready to impress. First I nibbled on dad's sock for a while, just to make sure it would be nice and soggy for when grandma arrived.
Then all that quality chewing made me sleepy and I tested out the sock as a snoozel snuggly - just in case grandma got lonely and needed something that stank of Stanislaw to sleep with. I'm very comforting like that.
Mom put on some Animal Planet (my favorite!) while she was cleaning to keep Pupi and me occupied. We really like the sounds that come from those shows. Pupi is especially obsessed with any and all kitty sounds. He'll bounce awake from the deepest of snoozels when he hears a one of those kitten/alien dogs and he looks for them like a mad man.

He helped prepare for grandma by ensuring that our home was free of feast-stealing cats. He checked behind the TV table~
And in the CD player (in the outside chance that a rare frisbee-kitty tried to hide)~
And assessed the status of the DVR cubby~
And between the wall and the TV~
Nope. No luck this time. Danggit!

After all that kitty hunting and sock preparation, Pupi and I decided that we needed to refuel and tried to move dad's dinner feast into our mouths with the power of the spaniel stare.
I learned on that night that the spaniel stare isn't all that powerful. Arg.

Mom said that there's still one more thing that we need to do before grandma arrives. She never said exactly what that is, but she promised that I'll find out as the day goes on. I hope it involves feasting! I did catch a glimpse of her taking out our grooming bag and preparing towels by the tub. And I saw that bottle of green goo that she rubs on my butt that makes me smell like fresh mountain breezes and morning dew. Major yuck-o. But seriously... even my dorky mom knows how important it is for me to stink like a beast, especially if grandhuman is in town! I mean, without my manly smell how will she ever recognize me?

So what else is there to do before she arrives?
I'll let you know once I find out.

Stanislaw the Man-islaw.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Raw Food Diet, Day 287- Going Nutty

Holy Feasting! Today mom had to go to a human vet to get some skin pricks before she's able to volunteer with my brother at hospitals. I got all depressed and upset that she was totally abandoning us and leaving us at home without any humans around for entertainment. Where were my people to provide me with feasts?!

Well, when she returned she pulled a jar full of some of the most delicious treats I have ever laid my tongue on. PEANUT BUTTER! I would trade all of my bully sticks for a spoonful of the good stuff. When that lid was popped and the fresh peanutty aroma of goodness reached my spaniel nostrils I lost all control and began to vibrate from schnozzle to bum.

IsThatForMe?!!?? I couldn't keep my thoughts straight. I saw a human feasting tool swirling about in that magical jar and when it appeared it was dripping with buttery feasts!My mom, (who is usually dorky but on rare occasions like this she is totally cool), took big globs and smooshed it into Pupi's and my treat balls. Pupi gets the Everlasting Fun Ball because he's a gentle jawed boy:
And his manly beastly brother (me!) got the mondo-sized kong for mega chewers.
After mom let us lick off the spoon which took a while and lots of nose licks because it's so sticky, and then it was fabulous peanutty tasting time! My eyes bulged from my face in pure delight.
My dorky brother, in his usual dainty way, gingerly lapped at his feast-filled treat ball.
I wonder if I could hunt down these peanut butter creatures outside and eat them! Do you think those tasty squirrels are responsible? I know they're up to something.... maybe it's making peanut butter!
Mom set out towels for us to lie on and play with our treats, but we just weren't having it. Big Pupi went straight to the carpet.
I zoomed to the sofa. Mom made me jump off while she put the towels on there and then I was allowed to resume my tasty snacking in comfort, which is how I should be allowed to eat all the time.
Aw man. It was SO GOOD! I refused to believe that the toys had been emptied and I kept digging at them for hours after the tastiness had been eaten. My tongue-polisher licked them both to a nice shine. Even then I kept looking for more. I couldn't stop myself! I'm starting to think that I need a program to help me with this new addiction. I've got peanut butter on the brain and just can't seem to shake it. I'm totally cool with 12 steps, as long as they each involve finding me some more peanut butter. I need to feast!

Big Pupi enjoyed his tastiness so much, he kept winking, and I lost complete control of my tail.

You guys have got to get yourself some of this! And I've got to get myself some more!!

Friday, November 7, 2008

Raw Food Diet, Day 283- How to Hunt a Stuffy in 4 Easy Steps

Act coy and uninterested around your victim. Smile a little. Wait for it to put its guard down.

Employ a handy human to snag the stuffy. Humans are there for the sole purpose of playing with you.
Thrash the stuffy within an inch of its life.

Growl intermittently. Let everyone knows who the Beast is in your house.
Leave no room for imposters.

Avoid Step Four.
Do not shove your victorious stuffy-filled face in places where it doesn't belong and doesn't fit.

I always forget Step Four.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Raw Food Diet, Day 282- My Nose Is In A Bad Mood

I am a beast of many moods.
But when I received news of a trip to the vet in the puke-mobile and Bordatella vaccines up my sensitive schnozzle, I was a very sad beast.Today's To-Do List was a little crazy for a wee puppy such as myself. Remind me to take that vacation day I've been saving up.

1 morning fast hunt
1 schnozzle assault by the vet tech
2 much for Stanislaw for one day

Turn off the sun! It's nappies time!

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Raw Food Diet, Day 280- Final Exams

Big Pupi here:
I passed! Check out the newest certified therapy dog in Chicago~

We almost didn't make it to the test because of the massive Obama rally that's going on this evening in my city. Roads are closed and there's supposed to be 1 million humans attending the event. Do you think they'd all like to pet my mohawk for good luck? My car is parked in a garage that's right in the middle of all the action, but fortunately we managed to make it out and back in again. Now I'm home and totally pooped after my exciting morning.

The hardest part of the test for me was the Leave It exercise. We never practiced that one in class! There was a HUGE hunk of delicious cheese just asking to be feasted on - sitting on the floor right within my reach. We walked loops around the cheese and I was seriously tempted to scrap the whole thing and just chow down. I had to Heel Like Good Boy and be Have and the leash had to be loose the whole time. It was a close call on more than one occasion.

When I was being tested on my tolerance of being handled all over by a stranger, I melted to the floor and decided that I'd rather get a belly rub instead. That earned me extra scritches in my leg pits which was totally awesome. The humans also got a huge kick out of my new trick called Paws, which tells me I must put my front feet on a human's knee so they can pet me. We use this one if a friendly human is sitting or in a wheel chair, and I'm totally game for anything that gets me extra pets. It's a sweet deal.

In the end, the instructor said I passed with flying colors which is appropriate because I'm now a full-fledged member of the Rainbow AAT group. Once my lame-o mom finishes the human set of requirements we'll go for our final evaluation. During this process I will attend a therapy program and the various program chair people decide for which of the programs I am best suited. (Even though I've already been scoped out by the Hope program coordinator and matched up with them!) We're hoping to have everything done before mid-December so we can start volunteering during the holidays.

I can't wait! I'll even share my dehydrated lamb's liver and fish treats with the kids!

Chilling with my new diploma,
Big Pupi

Stanislaw says:

I am so honored!! I received a wonderful Butterfly Award from Niamh which is totally sweet and awesome! I tried to post the picture of it but blogger is not cooperating. You can read Naimh's post here.

And I also received a major shout-out from my blogging buddies and I'm super pumped to say that I tied for DWB's Post of the Month! My mug is on the main page of the website. How cool! Thanks all for voting, and I couldn't imagine sharing the recognition with a cooler pup than Toffee. Today was filled with good news all around!

Time to bark at the noisy folks attending the Obama rally,

Monday, November 3, 2008

Raw Food Diet, Day 279- My Guest

I had a super crazy awesome weekend!
My auntie visited me and it was non-stop snug time on her lap and awesome walkies through town. I got to show off my territory marking skillz and my super speedy running abilities at the bark park. She was amazed! While my family relaxed on some grass and watched the waves in my lake (Lake Michigan), I squirmed and wiggled about looking for tasty creatures in the grass. Auntie loved my beastly hunting know-how! Big Pupi had a great time making faces at the camera and generally being a goofball in every photo mom tried to take.Since our weeble park has been closed for renovations, Pupi and I have had to do our Good Boy on sidewalks and asphalt, which isn't nearly as satisfying as weebling on some nice fresh grass. We don't see grass too often in the city and we miss it desperately! When we finally got to rest our bellies on the cool lush greenness there was no stopping us. We went crazy! Pupi thrashed like he'd never seen grass before.After a totally great few hours trekking about town, Big Pupi and I arrived home as hungry as beasts. To quiet our growling tummies (and placate our begging cocker eyes), our people gave us some fresh bully sticks. Big Pupi invented a new way to eat his:I think that those tasty bullies give him Anti-Gravity Bum! No matter what my humans did, Pupi would not put his bottom to the floor while working on that tasty feast. What my brother and I didn't realize at the time was that these bully treats were meant to tide us over until our VERY late dinner feasting. My feast found its way into my mouth over 4 HOURS late! I thought I was going to expire from starvation at that point. My selfish people went to a comedy show at The Second City, and I want them to know that while they were laughing their pants off I was withering away to nothing. Cruelty!

I guess in the end I had to let that one slide since my weekend in general was an amazing time. I think I like my auntie quite a bit. She reminds me of my dad, except I wasn't able to eat her socks or shoes. She keeps those delicious items locked away in some sort of magical chest for humans that only opens on their command. I just couldn't figure the dang thing out. Good thing my folks aren't smart enough to keep their feastable clothing in one of those! Instead their chewable toys are hidden behind a sliding door that took all of 5 minutes for me to figure out. Silly people!
Those busy days, late nights and non-stop petting and admiration from auntie has left me exhausted. I'm so tired in fact, that I didn't get my morning exercise and I'm too partied-out to care! I super love my auntie and would like her to visit every single weekend. Okay? I'll even tolerate the sofa-bed monster, despite the fact it tried to eat me, if it means she'll come to stay. And that means a lot, since that sofa beast really did try to feast on your favorite Stanislaw! But that my friends is a story for another day. Right now it's nappies time. This boy needs to recover from three full days of partying!

Pooped. In more ways than one.