Fumes and Flowers

Hey feaster folks! I'm here today to tell you all about my mostest favoritest thing: feasting.

Last week, my people made another one of those fabulous trips to the meat packer and came home with backpacks filled with deliciousness for my bro and me (mostly for me). In between my excitable shrieks I heard them talking about a special dinner that was planned for us, and man-oh-man let me tell you... it was CRAZY TASTY.
We each got a fresh marrow bone and a few ounces of succulent beefiness attached to its side. NICE! I'll have mine rare, please. That green stuff on the side is some broccoli and carrot baby food with a digestive enzyme hidden below.

Because these feastings were what my mom calls "project meals," my stinkbutt bro and I were made to eat in our crates. When we get feastables that require a bit of work, we tend to toss the meats about and sometimes can get into a growling match with each other. I don't know why they have a problem with me tossing my marrow bones around the apartment. I personally don't mind it one bit.
I LOVE my project feasts so much, my tail never stops waggling and I purr. I must have gotten to an especially good part of this feast at the end of this video because I start cooing really loudly:

It didn't take very long for me to finish and give my mom begging eyes for my next course. Certainly this was the appetizer, no?Big Pupi wanted to take his newly nakedized bone out of his feasting cage and onto the sofa for some quality snugs. My folks put a stop to that right away. They're always party poopers.This is my handiwork:Nice job, right? Because my bro and I went on a long run earlier that day my people thought we could use the extra calories and fat of a whole marrow bone. (Normally we're only allowed to eat 1/2 in a day.) But this time around... they were right!! My body needed that extra feasting so badly that it held onto it for another 24 hours, and my hiney tooted with joy and celebrations. I made sure to let everyone know what I had for dinner by baking air biscuits in the elevator and forcing people to abandon the ride early and take the stairs. They were probably running to get their own feasting marrow!! They can thank me for the dinner idea - and the extra exercise - some other time.

A few days after my feasting adventure my humans took my brother and me on a hiking adventure. SO FUN! It was a perfect day to drag dad around by his waist leash for a 7-mile bird-hunt through the woods.
I trudged ahead like the wild beast hunter extraordinaire that I am.
My brother is more of a gentle soul and observer of flora and fauna. (I prefer to eat flora and sometimes the fecal leavings of fauna - whatever "fauna" may be.)
We got super crazy muddy jumping into rivers and kicking up dusty trail dirt all over our bellies and legs. AWESOME! I enjoy a little grit between my toes. Everyone knows that hiking is all about getting filthy, testing the home cooking of the local wildlife while your people aren't looking, leaping head first into algae-coated water, and bringing about 10 ticks home on your ears.

I guess that last bit wasn't very much appreciated by my people because Big Pupi and I wound up getting a scrub down, having full body checks and getting our ear furs shaved down to nothing so those nasty little buggers could be plucked from our tasty meat-feasted bodies. Mom says we have pancake heads now, and I'd agree in BP's case~
~but nothing can take away from all the handsome on this face.
In the life of a beast there's nothing quite like an awesome feast to fuel an afternoon hunting in the woods. Yes. Yes, indeed.

Your good-looking, sweet-smelling, tick-free friend in feasting,
Stanislaw

Raw Food Diet, Day 543- Barkin' and Parkin'

Since Big Pupi is still on the DL, I got to go to the bark park - just me and my mom! First I was attacked by the buzzy thing, but it was all worth it for a morning at the park.

I like to make a dramatic entrance, and so I usually fling my 24lbs into the park and arrive completely airborne:
First up, I saw my little puppy buddy and we got our sniff on.
We gave our usual "What did YOU have for breakfast??" greeting by the infamous Weeble Tree.
He wasn't convinced it was me, so my puppy buddy had to make doubly sure it was Stanislaw the Great that he was about to wrastle with.
But before I can get any good wrastliness into my muscles, I must first cool off my groin in the hose wading pool. My puppy buddy was getting a little fresh as I enjoyed the icy cool awesomeness on my nether regions.Once my groin was satisfied with the degree of coldness, I hopped up like a spring and invited puppy buddy for a wee romp.He might be small but he's a Champion Wrastler! I made certain to show off my shiny white canines which happen to look rather menacing against my black fur. I'm all teeth and bendy gumby-ness. Watch out!!Then mom tossed a ball for me. I'm totally getting the gist of this whole "chase the round object" game. I prance like a man and do a huge flying pounce to catch that sneaky thing and bring it to my Jaws of Steel.
I ran hither and thither, doing the most important of important things.
I checked back in with mom for frequent drooly and howly-like updates - plus a bum scritching or two.
A little bird must have warned the living stuffies that The Beast was on the loose. I saw no galloping grub on this day - not one tasty niblet nibbling in my weeble grass for me to make a fuss over. Phooey.
I had a quick pow wow with the Bark Park regulars. I like this beagle mix since she's got a touch of The Feistiness in her bum, just like I do.
She's been working on her dissertation on the game of Chase. I gave her something to write about.
And we often enjoy critiquing each other's Downward Dog yoga positions.
Before I knew it, it was time to visit this corner of the park.
After a few high quality, feisty-cizing facial bum slaps by Yours Beastly, I got my terrier friend to play a game of chase.
She was a titch tired, so it didn't last very long.
So it was time to move on.
I was chillin' in my wading pool cooling off the ol' weeble when 2 kids came wandering my way. My puppy buddy and his wee friend were so into their wrestling that I pushed them out of my pool so they could get their thrashes in on dry land. I don't think they even noticed!
I tried a recipe for Chilled Ball Soup that I had found online. Turns out that I prefer raw meat.
Then my beagle friend and I greeted 2 new Shepard-ish dogs that had just come into the park. I did my best paw-slapping play bow and ginormous leap backwards to start a game of chase, but they weren't having it. I think they were in their golden years and weren't amused with my puppy antics.
And when mom saw me like this~
~she knew it was time to go home.

And I walked like a Good Boy should on a LOOSE LEASH almost the whole way back. I don't know why, but that crazy human made a big stinkin' deal out of my Good Boyness and I feasted on beefy treats every time I made eye contact while prancing all manly-like at her side. It was delicious!

And speaking of stink... those treats are talking to me now. I've been baking air biscuits all morning! AWESOME!

A beast by any other name would smell just a sweet,
Stanislaw

Raw Food Diet, Day 474- It Lives!! (and other tall tales)

Hey folks! I think that I may owe you a story...

Mom, Big Pupi and I were out for a good, hard fast-hunt the other day and boy-o-boy were we feeling beastly and strong. I was doing my usual zig-zag running and Big Pupi was being all Good Boy and stuff and concentrating on where he was going. We were weaving our way through the big city, dodging humans and wrapping up a 4-mile run when all of a sudden Big Pupi whipped around mom and almost took her down by wrapping the leash around her legs. That nerdy Good Boy never does stuff like that! That's my job!

Well, mom stopped to catch her balance and untangle the 3 of us, when all of a sudden a lady human started to scream. Did Pupi snatch food from her hand? Is she scared of dogs? Did Pupi lunge and BITE??!! - Mom thought, too terrified to turn to look. How UNLIKE Big Pupi!

No sooner did she get her bearing than Big Pupi started to shriek and scream, pull on the leash and act all crazy-like. I just couldn't resist, and zooming around mom in the opposite direction I whipped around and joined in on the hootin' and hollerin'. So there we were, a lady and two dogs screaming bloody murder, and mom teetering on the edge of balance, on the verge of loosing and battle and tasting cement.

Pupi and I continued to pull and scream. The hollering lady human did her best and was soon joined by another female biped. We were a spectacle! Mom was freaked! Mom finally got the guts to turn around and look to see what Big Pupi had done, when out of the corner of her eye she saw a...

BEAVER??!

In downtown Chicago?? This massive brown thing lumbered up the curb and waddled its way across the sidewalk through a fence on the other side. Now there was a chorus of screaming humans along with the two vocal canines. What the... but no. This fuzzy, fat brown thing wasn't a beaver. It was a 15 lb...
MR. RATBUTT LIVES!!! And he's apparently been eating well. On this particular day he was making his way towards an alleyway filled with dumpsters were the prime rat feasting takes place. I wonder if he has a date tonight! Oh I was just SOOO happy to see the ol' guy. He's one major stud of a ratbutt.

Big Pupi and I wanted to chase him down, so that we may sit with him a while and enjoy some pleasant conversation. But, of course, loser-mom said NO WAY!! and she dragged us home, still screaming. I was mad as poobles and made angry faces like this:
On another day, during a morning pooble walk, I saw what I'm sure is one of Mr. Ratbutt's kids racing about town, and Big Pupi and I found a hole in a building that I'm certain is his home. It's right behind a dumpster, so I guess he kind of has a on-suite kitchen. Those rats know how to LIVE!! Pupi and I always try to get a close sniff of his den, but our folks never seem to allow it. I don't know what they have against city rats. They're cool guys that KNOW how to FEAST!! I'm sure they could teach me a thing or two about scavenging. I NEED to LEARN!

________

Away from the awesome rats now and into Nerdy News - Big Pupi FINALLY got his official therapy dog gear. He feels quite noble and proud to wear it.
It has a pocket that holds his fancy badge...
...and a badge that, well... IS a fancy badge.
Mom had to make some adjustments, like cutting the extra straps and gluing the badge holder back on. (She said it's made like a piece of pooble but cost a lot of cheese money. Mom was NOT pleased.) But Big Pupi sure looks dashing in his new gear and he can't wait to take it for a test drive in a few days. He wore that silly girl-scout vest with a HUGE smile on his face:
And just so you don't forget what a handsome, beastly, lip-curling profile SHOULD look like, here's a photo of yours truly:
We have a question for all you crazy canines~

The day after some good, hard exercise, Big Pupi turns into a 6-month old puppy. He bounces, he thrashes, he wiggles and wrastles. He regresses SO much, that strange humans think this (almost) 6-year old greying boy is a baby springer spaniel. He still has his manners (that dork!), but his silly playfulness goes up about 1,000%. Do any of you do this? It's so wacky!

My brother is a wierd-o,
Stanislaw

P.S. - Check out our new shop on Etsy, Tasty Threads! It just went up yesterday. Mom's been working her fingers to the bone - each piece takes DAYS... and she could have been spending that time with me! What is this world coming to?

Raw Food Diet, Day 467- She took it. She took it all.

Whazzup feaster dudes!! Stanislaw here being all beastly and coming at ya all stinky-like. The sun has finally decided to stick around my territory and get it all warm and bright, which makes for lots of morning fast-hunting and belly soaking with cool fountain water. It also makes for some quality time running about nude with city breezes on the manly parts. You see, Big Pupi and I were getting way too toasty on runs so mom had to install some air conditioning on our bodies:

Dudes - I told you I was a skinny boy. I feast like a beast and this is all I have to show for it!

Sure, I look like a noodle with thigh muscles and a massive head but it FEELS SO GOOD!! It makes my tail do crazy things and wag like this:Dad keeps calling me his miniature horse because he thinks I'm all prancy and stuff without all that fur. No way! I EAT like a horse but I PRANCE like a wild beast! I keep telling dad that Big Pupi looks way more like a mini horse because of his scrawny little legs and general itty bitty-ness. And did you see how grey that eyebrow is getting? What a nerd!
Did you notice what else is missing?
He had to wait until therapy was done this week before mom could feed the mohawk to the buzzy thing. Don't worry folks - the 'do will come back some day, but for now Big Pupi is enjoying a little air on his fuzzy forehead. (Plus the 'hawk made his head look even massiver compared to his skinny shaved body. It was just silly!)

We went on a super awesome long fast-hunt today and I got to exercise my beastly muscles and general naughty boyness by not watching where I was going and almost running into planters, potholes and people all along the way. Mom was so annoyed! I just kept telling the ol' bird to chill - I was crazy busy keeping a look out for real birds and squirrels and goats and stuff. I bumped into Mr. Ratbutt on the way home, but that's a story for another time. It's a good ratty tale!

My new aerodynamic look gives me speediness and enables me to be first in line for any cheesy snacks that dad might drop in the kitchen~
It's awesome, especially since he ALWAYS "accidentally" lets a few go to the floor just for my brother and me. Crunchalicious.

Big runs make us crazy hungry and mom supplemented our chickeny breakfast and dinner today with some canned sardines. Mmm mmm! We always get a protein snack after a run and the fishies are our FAVORITE. Delish! They're even better when mixed with some yogurt and apple sauce. Don't you think that sounds gourmet?!!

It's dinner time in the Land of Stanislaw so I've got to be going. This skinny beast has to feast hard to keep up his manliness!

Stanislaw

Raw Food Diet, Day 394- Busy Beasts and Feasting Stuff

Heya folks! I've been keeping my beastly self busy lately and have a bunch of stuff to update you on. First is my Saturday "Make Stanislaw a Good Boy" Class. I did great! My teacher even used me as the example dog and pulled me in to the middle of the classroom to show my Down Stay. I was super on-point that day because mom brought some cut up string cheese and I LOVE CHEESE!!! Even the teacher said, "Boy, he really likes cheese." DUH! Cheese is the BEST! I was really focused and even responded to the command Quiet when I started whining (Quiet is a new one for me).

Everything was going smoothly until a large puppy got off his leash and came sprinting across the room towards me. I don't get along with this guy since he plays too rough and has about zero doggy manners. We got into a little brawl and it took 3 people to separate us. He's one dude I DO NOT give play bows to. Neither of us were injured and I got over the incident in about 0.3 seconds and was on the lookout for cheesiness again, but I gave him warning growls any time he got too close or too focused on me. Not cool, man! His owner needs to learn to keep distance between us.

Later in the week, we had another slight sizzle incident when mom was cooking in a pan. I ran into the office to hide but this time my folks were on the lookout for my spookiness and scaredy-cat-ness. They came jumping towards my hiding spot squeaking toys and patting my bum... and you know this beast can't resist a party! I was out of there in no time thrashing the stuffy with all my might and doing growly, smack-down play bows to Big Pupi. I totally forgot about the sizzle monster and followed them back to the kitchen to make sure they didn't want me to do any taste tests. Dad said I was Good Boy but I didn't get to eat the feast so I don't really believe him.

Since the weather is getting warmer (read: 36 degrees) we've been working on our marathon training and getting our mileage back up so we're in shape for our summer morning 4 mile fast hunts. Right now Pupi and I can do 2.5 miles pretty well, but we've got to keep working hard so we can race like beasts again. Running is just about our FAVORITE thing in the world to do! Heck, I might even leave a bowl of goat meatiness behind if I see my running leash! (Maybe...) We headed out on Tuesday for a good solid run and it turned out to be more of a mud sprint since all the snow is melting and the city is becoming a gooey mess. I've never felt like such a beast before! I was dripping from ears to dewclaws with mud and city yuck. Check out Big Pupi's once white legs:
Beastly! And the work we did to the bathroom floor:I was all like, "This is AWESOME!" until I heard something coming from the far end of the bathroom...
Noooooo!!! I watched my Eu Du Manliness swirl down the drain.
At the very least, in keeping with our usual post-run tradition, Big Pupi and I got a big protein snack. This time it was beef, yogurt and some apple sauce. Then, mom reached into a bag from the Place of Toys and Feasts and came out with a little pack of this:
I was all like WOAH!!! I've never had the kangaroo meat before! Somehow Big Pupi managed to charm the nice store man out of little pack of the dehydrated meatiness and he tossed it into our bag as a free sample. Delicious! The strips looked like thick pieces of jerky and they tasted like magic dancing on my tongue. Post-fast hunt feasts are the BEST! All that protein goes straight to my manly muscles.

The following day, because it's too hard on our bodies to run hard every day until we're in tip-top shape, mom took me on an obedience walk to the bark park. I was about 70% Good Boy on the way there. We had the park all to ourselves so it was all about doing Good Boy tricks and that's when I realized that mom had PORKY MEATINESS in her pocket!! She found a whole container of pancetta at the grocery store for $1 and boy-oh-boy is that motivation!! That was like the holy grail of treat feasts for me. I did Down Stays at the park like a pro, and did Good Boy Come every single time. On our walk home we kept doing exercises that mom called "escaped Stanislaw prevention" and kept letting me get ahead of her on the leash then calling me to Come! back to her. For pancetta? YOU BET!

I was walking like such a Good Boy until a bunch of skateboarding male humans came out of nowhere and started doing tricks and smashing about. I was SO SCARED I thought I was going to weeble on myself. This is NOT what an anxiety-ridden dog needs. One of the skateboards got away from its human, and mom asked if I could sniff it since it scared me. Very tentatively I approached the noisy moving thing, jolted back and forth a bit, but got close enough to touch it. The boy human pet me and I got so excited that I jumped onto the skateboard and it flew out from under me and scared me again. How was I to know that those things are naughty beasts that like to run away?

I was a little jostled on the way home but we made it okay. It took me a block or two to calm down and focus again, but I did well. I used to get so shaken by these types of things that I wouldn't be able to calm down until I was home for a while. So I guess that's another step in the right direction!

That's all typing I have time for now. Nappies are calling my name. Dewclaws are crossed we get to run later today. I need to get manly and filthy again!

Happy feasting fellow beasties.
Stanislaw

***
Health note from Big Pupi:
Pancetta is a very fatty meat and we do not recommend it as a treat for everyone - especially if you have weight problems or are prone to pancreatitis. Stanislaw and I are very lean and very active boys so the extra fat and calories don't hurt us... as long as it is in moderation. Fatty meats and cheeses are the ultimate treat for us and we get very tiny crumbles only when we must perform in very distracting situations. Otherwise, when our job to be Good Boy is a little easier, we stick to the healthy stuff like flakes of dehydrated lean meats.

That being said, sliced light string cheese makes for the ultimate training treat! If we're learning new tricks at home (as we are now) that makes for a delicious high protein, low fat snack and we go nutty for it! Mmmmm!

**an important note**

I've got an important tidbit to add, which I have to thank my buddy Frisbee Fenway for~

We tend to write big on this blog. We speak of feasts like they are banquets but in reality everything we eat is portioned out and kept in check. Sure, we get treats and we dine on rich meats like lamb and pork on occasion, but it's all balanced with good lean beef and turkey and lots of exercise. We tend to exaggerate the extent of our feasting because to us any meal of raw meatiness is AMAZING and worthy of MUCH recognition. But, in truth an hour's worth of training only earns us each a 1/2 to 2/3 of a piece of string cheese because it's chopped into such tiny bits. But it doesn't stop us from working our bums off for it!

So feast hard folks. Feast healthy and take the rich stuff in moderation. We want you all around for a long, long time.