Raw Food Diet, Day 433- Revenge! Mutiny!

We're in the new place and mom's all like "Stanislaw, stop licking the walls!" and I'm all wondering why that smeary smelly stuff they used on them tastes just like paint. What gives? Aside from that major let-down, the digs are good and oddly enough, almost exactly like our old place.

I guess we were in an apartment that was ADA accessible, which meant that my folks got a break on the rent but we had no cabinets under the sink, lots of bars on the bathroom walls and the counters were at perfect-o cocker spaniel surfing height. (For me anyway, my Short Team bro couldn't hack it.) Thanks to the Economy Monster and lack of folks renting apartments, the building let my parents swap for a "regular" unit. Now I have to stand on the sofa to watch feasts being prepared, and I no longer have hideouts under the sinks where I get to do Naughty Boy and chew on the pipe bumpers. Hmmph.

The stinkbutt bro and I were all doing Good Boy and chillin, snoozeling on the clean carpet in the new place when mom finally got around to setting up her computer and loaded up some photos from her flashy box machine. There were lots of pictures from her trip to see our grandhumans and Big Pupi and I crowded around to take a look.

OH MY FEASTING. Looks of horror, disbelief, and nausea spread across our schozzles. WHAT THE BEEF WAS THIS?? It started out all cool with images of the mangrove swamps in Sarasota Bay~ I got a little jealous when I saw blurry images of these totally awesome crab people that skitter about the mangrove roots like a million cockroaches. I totally would have bitten them in the teeny crabby bums!
As mom filed away the photos, I began to see something that I thought was Big Pupi. But wait... no... it was my cousin Paisley! She's the one that had surgery on her knee in January, and I was thrilled to see that she's 100% healed and even better than she was before. But that happiness soon faded when I realized that she had been having a totally AWESOME time without me!! My mom and grandpa took Paisley kayaking~
They went out to a sand bar that's right in the middle of the bay and she got to splash about, run and swim in the warm FL water. WHAT?! Where was I during this??? I would have totally gone bonkers and drank lots of that salty water and projectile puked it up later and it would have been GREAT! Big Pupi and I have life preservers just waiting for a kayak trip and we had to miss out? Where is this Florida place and why didn't I GO? Paisley had a crazy great time and now her nickname is "Salty Dog." She and my grandpa explored the sand bar~
She hunted for leaves floating in the water and fat juicy pelicans flying in the air~
And she fearlessly took the waves face-on~
Big Pupi and I couldn't believe what we were seeing. We used to go canoeing with our folks in Texas and LOVED IT and we've been doing so many Good Boy things and we STILL weren't invited! Pupi and I got so frazzly mad that our gums turned red and I think I saw smoke come out of my bro's floppies. This was wrong. So wrong! To teach mom a lesson we jumped on the human crate and did Naughty Boy thrashing until all of our loose fur matted to the sheets and all my eye boogies were lost somewhere on her pillow. HA! We came back to the computer feeling that we had made our point but then we saw this:
Mom was doing snugs with Paisley on a sofa and Big Pupi and beastmaster Stanislaw were NO WHERE IN SIGHT! What's the deal?! Does mom just go around playing with other dogs all day and doing awesome things while I'm stuck at home with my farty brother? I bet that she's out playing with canines every time she leaves home!!!

Thats IT! I'm SO MAD! So mad I could... yes, most definitely could... perhaps... yes...

I'M SO MAD I'M GONNA POOBLE!

It's a bum attack!
Stanislaw