Sunday, April 5, 2009

Raw Food Diet, Day 433- Revenge! Mutiny!

We're in the new place and mom's all like "Stanislaw, stop licking the walls!" and I'm all wondering why that smeary smelly stuff they used on them tastes just like paint. What gives? Aside from that major let-down, the digs are good and oddly enough, almost exactly like our old place.

I guess we were in an apartment that was ADA accessible, which meant that my folks got a break on the rent but we had no cabinets under the sink, lots of bars on the bathroom walls and the counters were at perfect-o cocker spaniel surfing height. (For me anyway, my Short Team bro couldn't hack it.) Thanks to the Economy Monster and lack of folks renting apartments, the building let my parents swap for a "regular" unit. Now I have to stand on the sofa to watch feasts being prepared, and I no longer have hideouts under the sinks where I get to do Naughty Boy and chew on the pipe bumpers. Hmmph.

The stinkbutt bro and I were all doing Good Boy and chillin, snoozeling on the clean carpet in the new place when mom finally got around to setting up her computer and loaded up some photos from her flashy box machine. There were lots of pictures from her trip to see our grandhumans and Big Pupi and I crowded around to take a look.

OH MY FEASTING. Looks of horror, disbelief, and nausea spread across our schozzles. WHAT THE BEEF WAS THIS?? It started out all cool with images of the mangrove swamps in Sarasota Bay~ I got a little jealous when I saw blurry images of these totally awesome crab people that skitter about the mangrove roots like a million cockroaches. I totally would have bitten them in the teeny crabby bums!
As mom filed away the photos, I began to see something that I thought was Big Pupi. But wait... no... it was my cousin Paisley! She's the one that had surgery on her knee in January, and I was thrilled to see that she's 100% healed and even better than she was before. But that happiness soon faded when I realized that she had been having a totally AWESOME time without me!! My mom and grandpa took Paisley kayaking~
They went out to a sand bar that's right in the middle of the bay and she got to splash about, run and swim in the warm FL water. WHAT?! Where was I during this??? I would have totally gone bonkers and drank lots of that salty water and projectile puked it up later and it would have been GREAT! Big Pupi and I have life preservers just waiting for a kayak trip and we had to miss out? Where is this Florida place and why didn't I GO? Paisley had a crazy great time and now her nickname is "Salty Dog." She and my grandpa explored the sand bar~
She hunted for leaves floating in the water and fat juicy pelicans flying in the air~
And she fearlessly took the waves face-on~
Big Pupi and I couldn't believe what we were seeing. We used to go canoeing with our folks in Texas and LOVED IT and we've been doing so many Good Boy things and we STILL weren't invited! Pupi and I got so frazzly mad that our gums turned red and I think I saw smoke come out of my bro's floppies. This was wrong. So wrong! To teach mom a lesson we jumped on the human crate and did Naughty Boy thrashing until all of our loose fur matted to the sheets and all my eye boogies were lost somewhere on her pillow. HA! We came back to the computer feeling that we had made our point but then we saw this:
Mom was doing snugs with Paisley on a sofa and Big Pupi and beastmaster Stanislaw were NO WHERE IN SIGHT! What's the deal?! Does mom just go around playing with other dogs all day and doing awesome things while I'm stuck at home with my farty brother? I bet that she's out playing with canines every time she leaves home!!!

Thats IT! I'm SO MAD! So mad I could... yes, most definitely could... perhaps... yes...

I'M SO MAD I'M GONNA POOBLE!

It's a bum attack!
Stanislaw

26 comments:

Dewey Dewster said...

Gee Stanislaw...

Sorry ya didn't get ta go ta Florida cause we can tell ya it was pawsome fer sure. With hundreds of people walkin' their dogs in the common area and drivin' 'em around on their golf carts....the aroma was amazin'.....why we spent a ton 'o time smellin' when Gram said we should be walkin'....

Hope ya get ta go next time....the sunshine was great too but we weren't near either coast....we were in central Florida where there are fresh water lakes. NO fishin' or boatin' fer us either, but we're hopin' fer our own pool when we go back.....

Dewey Dewster here....

Niamh said...

It is cruelty to animals that you and Big Pupi did not get to go to that Florida place and go kayaking! While I am glad to hear that Paisley is all better, it was very bad of your mom to cheat on you guys with her. I would suggest stealing something of your mom's and thrashing it to pieces. That will teach her!

Your friend,
Niamh

MONA AND THE MOMMY! said...

Oh my goodness!! the INJUNSTICE of it all. Maybe I should ask Mack if it's OK for Paris to come help to calm you down. Would that help?

huggies...Mona

Mason Dixie said...

Oh no I can not believe your mom is doing all this, and in front of you!! I too would pooble. he he

Khyra The Siberian Husky And Sometimes Her Mom said...

I think woo need to take her flashie beast hostage until she agrees to take woo next time!

Khontinued luknk getting settled in!

Hugz&Khysses,
Khyra

Scottie the 'cutie' said...

Sorry to hear you didn't get to go to Florida, Stan! But the beach did look awesome there...=)

Your new house sounds so cool! I can't believe you tried to eat the paint though...*wink* Good luck with your new house!

Scottie

Beckett said...

I'm not sure a bum attack alone will be punishment enough for this injustice. You might need to purge from BOTH ends.

Beckett

Pee S - GO RED SOX!!!

tnbullterrors said...

Florida is pretty cool, we went there last Oct for a Dawg Show Pappy was entered in. Don't be too mad at yer DawgMom, she did come home to you guys!

Feather, Darla & Pappy, the TN Bull Terrors

Lorenza said...

Hi, Stan!
Sorry to say this but I'd be mad too!
Kisses and hugs
Lorenza

Mack said...

Dude,
I know just how you feel. When the peeps take Paris somewhere without me, I go nuts! Just this morning dad said he was taking Paris to the vet to get her ears checked...SURE DAD! I bet they were going to get ice cream or go to the park or something. Jeesh!
Pee(S) Stinky sister Paris says you are her one and only and she loves you furever...oh brother...

Hero said...

Sorry to hear that you and Big Pupi were abandoned while your hoomans had adventures with Paisley. I am glad to hear that Paisley has recovered well from her surgery. Going poobles sounds like a great idea. That'll teach your mom and dad!

As for OB, Abbey's parents will be keeping tabs on him. Abbey is my next door neighbor so I'm sure she'll be more than happy to share his progress with the team with me. I'll keep you updated with whatever news I get.

Asta said...

Stanislaw
I think it is absolutely howwific that youw peeps wenta way, and wowse, had FUN wifout you and big Pupi.
I am shaking my head in bafflement. whey go to othew doggies when they have you tow?
I can't think of a punishment suitable enuff fow them, but Pooble sounds like a good stawt
smoochie kisses
ASTA

Agatha and Archie said...

Pooble away boys,that's what we would do!! Love A+A

Dughallmor Beagles said...

Hey, you pooble away dude! Pooble for all you're worth, hehe, you crack us up!
Oh, and BTW....you totally rock, you just do ok?
Mwah xx

Maggie and Mitch said...

This is so totally not fair! Pooble the place up, Stan! Do a good job!

Love ya lots
Maggie and Mitch

Joe Stains said...

Do it dude! Don't let anyone tell you that Revenge is a dish best served cold. No way, its a dish best served steaming and stinky!

Eric said...

Pooble on the Hooman crate pals. And barf on the clean carpet. No more goodboy behaviour.And ignore your cute cousin Pailey but only for a minute or two cos not really her fault...and she looks so pretty in the water.

Wiry wags, Eric x

FleasGang said...

Ohhhh, Paisley is a really pretty girl. You two should definitely plan a trip to see her (without your pawrents). We got to play with our cousin Maggie this weekend. She's a black cocker too! Here's to poobles & weebles on the new floor!!

Shelly & Tommy

Brind'Amour said...

Hi Stan,

I agree with Maggie and Mitch, it's totally not fair! Nice ta meet ya Stan and thanks for stopping by my blog!

Wiggles!
Brind'Amour

GSD Adventures said...

The nerve of your humans!!! You so should have been invited on that adventure!!! OMD!!! REVENGE OF THE PUPS! They've been warned!

Let us know if you need back up!

Wags,
Pruett and Daphne

Fenway said...

Ms. Alpha had a fit of deja vu when she saw the mangrove swamps! And she swears she remembers seeing a doggie that looks suspiciously like Paisley...she wanted to take a pic and send it to BP 'cause it looked like his doppelganger!

I have the most suspicious feeling that this Sarasota place is the one our humans go to. By any chance was your mom shadowed in the kayak by an overly friendly cormorant?

Oh, my goodness. To think that our humans crossed paths and left us to languish in our northern dens.

I am working on my whining and bark screaming for when they go again. I have friends in high places in 'Sota who really want me to visit! So the humans better start finding those dog friendly motel dens along the way.

Mango said...

Your mom is cheating on you and has the poor taste to photograph it too. You poor thing. No wonder you are licking the walls.

Slobbers,
Mango

Scottie the 'cutie' said...

Stan! Big Pupi! I've tagged you for a little game at my blog...*grins* Come by to check it out, okay? Hope you have a great week ahead!

Scottie

Amber-Mae said...

Oh my dog, at first I thought that was Big Pupi but then I realized that this dog is just too pretty to be Big Pupi & it's a 'she'. I got confused at first but then I realized that your hoomans DIDN'T BRING YOU TO FLORIDA & instead hung out & had fun with another doggie. Poor you! Go Stan, keep on licking the walls till there's no more paint left.

Butt sniffs,
Solid Gold Dancer

Bae Bae said...

Oh Paisley sure look kinda like Big Pupi..

~ Bae

Ludo van puppy said...

Hi Stanislaw and Pupi,
Thanks for stopping by my blog and the advice on my colitis. Tinned pumpkin is not widely available over here so we haven't been able to get any.
I was on the raw diet from a pup till I was 6 months old and my breeder feeds her dogs part raw too. Mum and I had to move when I was 6 months and so she changed me to kibble for convenience but is thinking of changing me back since I never has any colitis on raw and have had it 3 times since. We're also going to get some allergy tests done.
~lickies, Ludo