Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Raw Food Diet Day 49- Meat Locker Nightmares

I'm a raw feasting dreaming boy. My favorite place to dream about catching my feasts is the top of the sofa, where I let my long legs dangle and air out my groin. My humans laugh at me when I sleep this way, but they don't know what they're missing. Last night I had a dream that I hunted down a rabbit and a squirrel and brought them home for a snack. I am one fast boy, and those running feasts are no match for me. But my dream turned into a nightmare when my human took my fresh feasts away from me and put them in the meat locker! They told me that they were saving them for later, but I was hungry now! To my horror I could not get the meat locker to open, no matter how much I barked and whined and cried and looked at it with the saddest eyes I could make. Does it have no feelings? No one is too powerful to escape the sad eyes! I woke myself up from this horrible nightmare because I was barking in my sleep. Phew. I felt much better when I realized that I would be eating my morning meal soon, and I didn't have to fight the meat locker for it. Now I'm exhausted from my uneasy sleep and full belly, so I'm going to take a nap on the sofa and expose my groin for a while.

Feed me,

brother is excited:
I'm really into crunching bones. This morning I was really surprised to hear that my humans also like to crunch something... numbers. Those sure sound tasty. What really sounds tasty to me is the impending arrival of our new meat locker. From what I can tell, a delivery human will be bringing a new one right to our door, and it's going to be just for Stanley and me! Man, are we special boys. I also overheard some talk about a lock on it, which I absolutely do not approve of, but as long as the feasts emerge from that meat locker and appear in my bowl in time for breakfast and dinner every day I think I'll be okay with it.

We live in a small apartment, and so my humans weren't too sure about taking up more space and spending all that money on this new addition. However, after spending much time crunching those tasty numbers, they've come to realize that it will save them lots of money in the long run. It'll even pay for itself in 4 months since they will be able to make large orders from their local co-op, where being a member pays off big-time with low meat prices. They've never been able to order from there before because there is a minimum amount that you must get, and they couldn't store it all. But another review of finances revealed that my humans will save about $35 each month if they got our food this way, and so Stan and I are getting our freezer!

The new locker is a 3.5 cu. ft. Haier freezer, which is only supposed to cost $20 per year to run. It has a small footprint so it can fit in a tight space, and the design is such that it can be pushed right up against a wall (some freezers require an inch or two of space for ventilation). It's not a big meat locker like the one my humans have, but it has more than enough space to fit the 72lbs of food that Stan and I feast on every 8 weeks. And with the sudden drop in our food expenses, this raw diet seems like a better deal than ever. My people used to spend 85-cents per day per dog on our high-end kibble, and with the co-op purchases and storage space, our new meal budget comes to $1 per day per dog. I have no idea how much a dollar is, but it must be a lot because meat that tasty can't come cheap.

I have to go -- Stanley and I scheduled a meeting to figure out how to break into the meat locker. I've got the brains and Stan's got the height (see how lanky his in that picture??), so I think we may be able to do this. If you have any advice please let me know, because my humans sure aren't going to let me in on their locker-opening secrets.

Keep you feasts frozen,
Stanislaw's brother

1 comment:

Rio Rocket said...

Hey thanks for visiting my blog! I'll be back to read more of yours when I got more time. Looks like you got some 'meaty info' ha ha!