Friday, June 20, 2008

Raw Food Diet, Day 144- Dad Is My All-Time Fav

Unbeknownst to my super boring, rule-enforcing Mom, my super awesome, totally tubular, full of coolness Dad has been letting me on the human crate while he watches the No Smell Flashy Box Thing, and cheers for stuff called "Celtics" and "Red Sox."  It's boy bonding time, and Mom is not invited.  My brother is also not invited, mostly because he's a complete mama's boy and would rather watch chick shows and snuggle with Mom.  What a loser!  Meanwhile, I'm livin' large on the human crate, rubbing my smell all over the place and chillin' with Pa.
It's testosterone central when I'm watching the game with my Dad.  We yell, I fart and we both talk about meat.  Never mind the fact that I'm lying on a purply-blue duvet cover and certain elements of my manhood have gone missing.  It's a dude-only club!

When I heard that Mom was getting suspicious, I had no idea what was giving our Boys' Club evenings away.  Could she smell my unbathed manliness on her bed?  What there evidence from something she calls Shedding?  Was my snitch of a brother telling on me?!  Figuring it was the latter, I tried to take Big Pupi's SingingChristmasTreeMouseToy away to teach him a lesson, but all I got was a thrashing from Pupi for taking his untouchable toy.  Dang.  

It's no secret that Dad is my favorite.  He tells me that I was in his belly once, and that's why we both have so much in common.  We're lean boys, with long long legs and we can stand really tall.  He calls us the Tall Team, and my stinky brother and Mom are the Small Team.  Ha!  Dad loves fast hunts and so do I.  Dad also likes to eat a meaty dinner and that's my favorite!  Mom eats super yuckiness called Tofu.  She's such a dork!

My point is that Dad is just the awesome-est human that ever lived.  I wait by the front door when it's time for him to come home from Work, and it's his socks only that I steal from the Hamper.  Dad is a rule-breaking kind of guy just like me, and I hope... I HOPE that some day I can grow up to be just like him.

15 comments:

Beckett said...

Your dad sounds like a pretty awesome human - but don't forget that your mom is also awesome in her own rule-enforcing way. (What is it about moms and rules???)

Maybe I should tell my mom to get a dad for me. Hrm...

Mack said...

Dad says I'm a momma's boy - I think he's right!

Paris is a Daddy's girl. Last night I caught him giving her a piece of bacon when he thought I wasn't looking!

-Mack

Fenway said...

Don't forget...mom is Food Lady. Ultimately, she is the center of your universe, the source of Everything That Matters.

I bonded with Mr. A during the Celtics stomp on LA. (Ms. A was happily watching the girlie Bravo channel on the other Squawkbox).

There were lots of hoots, screams and bellows at the refs and someone referred to as Thug Odom.

Ms. A found a recipe for you, my stringbean-ish friend. It's supposed to put weight on the BARF'ers.

SATIN BALLS
10 pounds hamburger meat [the cheapest kind]
1 lg. box of Total cereal
1 lg. box oatmeal
1 jar of wheat germ
1 1/4 cup veg oil
1 1/4 cup of unsulfured molasses
10 raw eggs AND shells
10 envelopes of unflavored gelatin
pinch of salt

Mix all ingredients together, much like you would a meatloaf.

Divide into 10 quart freezer bags and freeze.

Fenway said...

Glad you like the idea of the Satin Balls.

Did you notice mine in my lovely full frontal foto? The Alphas refer to them as the Diamonds in the Rough, and I get to keep 'em as long as I strut in the show ring. That's mainly why I go along with that program.

Ella Bean said...

Hiya Stan!

Your boy human sounds awesome. Its so cool that our people have the same names, Mom and Dad! I guess humans aren't very creative when it comes to naming.

I have to say, I prefer my daddy too. He likes to spread out and watch the box thingy too and lets me sleep on him while he scratches my ears, rubs my tummy and massages my feminine paws.

Louis is a Mom's boy and he is always next to her. He is in love with her and if dogs and humans could get married, I think Louis would try. He sometimes doesn't even like it when our Dad comes too close, which he gets in trouble for. I think its funny when Louis is in trouble!

Kisses,

Ella Bean

Agatha and Archie said...

Well of course any Dad that watches the Celtics and Red Sox is AOK with us!!!!!! Love A+A

Amber-Mae said...

Your dad sounds like the coolest guy around! Stan, I think you're like him already just that your mom is around & that's why you can't really BE like your dad when she's a round. Am I making sense to you?

Butt wiggles,
Solid Gold Dancer

Charlie Daniels said...

I think your Dad sounds very cool :-)

Cheers

Charlie

Maggie & Mitch said...

I love my dad as much as you love yours, Stan! Dads are the BEST!

Yer friend,
Mitch

Austin said...

hi boys!
I prefer dad too...mum is always about where I my piss and taking me to the doctor...dad s far cooler...walks, sleeping together, and sitting on his chair together for hours mixing his music...mum s so busy all the time..I wonder...could it be cause we don t do anything???
Austin

Hero said...

That's so cool that you have a special bond with your dad! He sounds like a really good role model for you. As for me, I'm 100% mama's boy. Dad's fun too, but mom's the one who takes me out for hikes and lets me snuggle with her on her fluffy crate every night.

Niamh said...

That is so nice that you have bonded so strongly with your dad over sports and other guy things. But don't forget to give your mom lots of kisses!

Your friend,
Niamh

duo_disaster said...

//Goofy paws Comment//

To think we're like minded cause I now love Daddy more but don't you forget to pleased Mummy too because she is like what Fenway says, the source of EVERYTHING!!!

P/S: Rudolf is a MamaBOY!!! *Bleh!*

Penny, Poppy & Patches said...

Don't forget, Stan...if mama ain't happy, nobody's happy. It's some kind of old saying...anyway, you better be nice to her too. I bet she's the one who makes sure there's always plenty of raw meat in the house! Patches is a daddy's girl. She is never too far away from him. Penny is too, but I, Poppy am a mama's girl!

Aire-hugs,
Poppy, Penny & Patches

Petra said...

You look just like your dad --- and I'm sure you'll grow up to be just like him. You are one lucky little cocker!