Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Raw Food Diet, 169- Jaws of Steel

My folks tell me that I have Jaws of Steel.
They say that for a 22 lb dog, I can get mighty destructive.  They had become so accustom to my brother and his wimpy-boy chewing skills, that they were completely unprepared for my feasting abilities.  As soon as I figured out the toy bin when I was first adopted, I went to town on all of Pupi's rubber bones and chewy chew toys.  I tried my best to de-stuff all of his stuffies, but Pupi is way too protective of those and he'd beat me up any time he heard a stitch pop or fabric tear.  But man, did I do some work on those chew bones!  I guess it was when my folks saw millions of blue bits from Pupi's flexible dental chew appearing in my Good Boy business that they determined they need to get me some more Big Boy bones.  

They ordered me Nylabone toys made for "strong chewers" and large breeds.  Did that stop me?  No!  Did my determination to feast on these toys make my jaws stronger?  Yes!  The tough toys I liked best were my T-Rex Dinosaur dental chew and my chicken flavored bone toy.  In no time at all, I reduced those silly toys to this:
Yes, that dinosaur had a head at one point - a big T-Rex head.  He also had feet.  I'm sure you know what that silly Nylabone looked like, but I gave them both a face lift!
Personally, I am proud of my work.  That dino was tough enough to hammer nails with!  It sure took concentration, determination, and some impressive jaw muscles.  I am a beast!  I have also turned toys made for Rottweilers into feasting nubbins and gave them an up-close and personal tour of my digestive system.  I like to hide my serious chewing skills behind a facade of innocence and puppy-ish-ness. 
People would never suspect that I can devour a leather shoe in mere minutes!  My girly brother, on the other paw, spends hours each day nibbling on his stuffies with his very front teeth, and licking them all over like they are his puppies.  He's such a girl!  He will only de-stuff a toy if I've already managed to tear a good hole into it... and that's a rare occasion.  Pupi has stuffies that are years old, and even though he has removed the right ear off of each of them, they have suffered very little damage otherwise.  
As for my Big Boy chewing bones, Pupi tries his hardest to copy me but he can't!  He'll work hard on those Nylabones and never make a dent.  Ha!  What a momma's boy!  
He goes about it all wrong, holding those toys in his dainty little shaved paws.  He doesn't quite grasp the art of violent feasting and thrashing your toys an inch from their lives.  I am the master!
Okay, so maybe I'm not the master.  I mean, Big Pupi bosses me around on a regular basis.  But at least I know that I've got him beat in feasting skills.  And if you ask me, I've also got him beat with my beasting skills.  So in the end that means I win, right?

I am an animal,


Mack said...

Oh Stan -
Just looking at the last pic of you makes me a little faint....
You have the most handsome he-man smile EVER!

My brother is a chewing MANIAC.
He can destroy anything. I am such the lady when it comes to gnawing.
Anyhoo, the cocker rescue reunion went well. We got there early and there were only two cockers .It was nice to see my old foster mom.
My parents are gonna go to the big Dog Show in Houston Friday and they will prolly be there too. Mom said she would look around for a Deborah.

Ella Bean said...


You are truly the beastliest! You make my brother's chewing skills look super wimpy!

Right now I am jetsetting princess and taking in the sights of Washington D.C. I didn't mind the flying part-but Louis sure did!

Tomorrow I hear we are headed to a Big Apple, which sounds yummy, but I wish I was coming to Chicago, to see you.


Ella Bean

Agatha and Archie said...

HA!! Just like our house!!!! I am the chewing QUEEN(I bit the head off the dino too!!) and Archie just plays around with it!!!!! You look SOOOOOO cute in that last picture!!! Love and kisses A+A

Charlie Daniels said...

G'day Stan

A dog after my own heart !!! Way to go Stan!



Hero said...

You truly are a beast, Stan! Not even the king of dinosaurs can stand up to you!

Fenway said...

Stan--You have a face that will NOT be denied.

On the matter of the T-Rex. Note the extiinction of that species. In fact, when have you last scented out a dinosaur? It's my firm belief that their disappearance coincided with the evolution of the MIghty Canis Species.

Dogs are proof of the Survival of the Fittest. Tell Stan's stuffies and any manner of Nylabones that they can take that fact to the bank.

Nice work. I've got the East Coast covered. Nothing survives my Jaws of Steel...except, perhaps the aptly named Everlasting Fun Ball.

Clover said...

Hi Stani,
Wow, you are a beast! I love the description of how Pupi chews his toys compared to how you do it. Haha, very funny!
Well, you have a super cute face, so your crazy attacks on chew toys are surprising!
Love Clover xo

Niamh said...

What powerful jaws you have and I can see that you have done some excellent destruction to those Nylabones.

And I'm right there with you on de-stuffing stuffies. Selkie used to keep her stuffies forever, gently mouth them and then admire them. What is the point?? The first thing I like to do to a new stuffie is remove the arms and legs (they don't need them anyway) and then get down to the serious work of disemboweling them.

Good job Stanislaw.

Your friend,

Petey said...

Hi Stan!

I've been known to peel a tennis ball like a banana in less than 30 seconds and crush the inside like a grape. Squeakies don't stand a chance with me.

However, with the exception of a few dearly departed stuffies, I've been quite kind to them. I like the shake them like a fiend, but that's about it. I guess they remind me of my puppyhood.

Your pal,


Maggie & Mitch said...

I used to do the exact same thing to Nylabones but now that I'm 10 and older and wiser, I leave that kind of stuff to Mitch! He's tough on toys, just like I used to be! There is nothing he can't destroy!

Love ya lots,
Maggie and Mitch

Petra said...

Oh, Stanislaw, there's no doubt about it: you are a winner!

I'm more like Pupi. It takes me a long time to chew things up. I guess I just need more practice because afterall, I AM a boston terrorist!

Girl Girl Hamster said...

Hee you look so cute in the last photo smiling away. I think you're pawsome at this chewing thing. ;)

~ Girl girl

Amber-Mae said...

You really do have jaws of steel Stan! Just like Chloe. She can really crush bones in a few seconds & can finish one big raw hide bone within 20 mins. I can't infact, I have quite weak jaws.

Butt wiggles,
Solid Gold Dancer

Penny, Poppy & Patches said...

You did a pawsome job on those cheweys! Since we are a little older, now, we let our stuffies live a little longer. We used to destroy them in less than 10 seconds. Now, some of them last a week or two!

Poppy, Penny & Patches