So, I was sitting at home on my favorite dirty stuffed chair, chewing the instruction booklet to my new halti headcollar which I detest, when mommy appeared around the corner with that dreadful thing.
She also had my harness and I kind of got excited because the harness usually means fun things like Polish celebration parades and running. She already had Big Pupi all suited up for an afternoon out, so I obliged and let mom dress me for an outing... despite the fact that it meant that the blasted headcollar was going on. (She says that I have not perfected my Walk Like Good Boy, and I need to stop yanking the bones in her hands to bits with all my manly strength.)
We hit the streets and zig-zagged around herds of strange humans. Little did I know that she was taking me to the horrible vomit-mobile! Blech! She snatched me into the air and seat-belted me into the back seat next to my brother, who oh-so angelically jumped into his spot in the car on command and Sat Like Good Boy. Show-off. I hate him sometimes. We took a quick drive and I whimpered in the back but didn't get too queazy - I guess that extra little crunchy pill thing in my breakfast made me less car sick. We wound up parked in a new place that was just waiting for me to leave my mark and claim it as my own. We took another short walk and before I knew it....
...we were at the Place of Tile and Steel and too many dog smells to take in all at once. Oh. No.
Mom said something about "forgetting the samples" and I guess Big Pupi knew what she was talking about because he produced a new one right there on the floor for her. His tummy always goes bad when he gets nervous! When the nice lady came around to gather my brother's gift for her, I didn't want to look rude so I made an offering of my own and weebled all over the place. I have no idea where we found all that because we had just emptied our tanks moments before. I surprise myself sometimes! I am such a clutch player.
We were ushered into a back room and weighed (I gained another pound!!) and I commenced my screaming so that everyone that works at the Place of Tile and Steel could come and lavish me with their adoring stares and belly rubs. My call attracted a particular Dr. B who plopped me on the table and began to massage my neck and shoulders. I got so relaxed that my head bobbled and was entranced by the attention, so I let this Dr. B check my beastly teeth and ears and continue with her exam. She said I was so calm and in such good shape that my heart rate was incredibly slow for a dog my size - about 70 beats per minute. I got paper things put into my eyes to check for tears (since I had one gland removed from a cherry eye surgery I need this checked every year) and I produce lots and lots of eye water so Dr. B was very proud of me. I got a treat for that one! Then she shoved something crazy yucky up my schnozzle, and mosquito-bit me with a rabies vaccine and a lepto vaccine. Yup... mom decided to go ahead with the lepto for me because we don't know my vaccination history, and apparently living in a city with rats puts you at high risk. (This will probably be my last one though.) Dr. B also found a little yeasty ear infection that my mom had suspected I was brewing and she washed out my ears and gave me some meds.
**See below for a great new way to put meds/ear wash in a dog's ear!**
Then I was put on the ground and screamed in protest while Big Pupi got his time with this fabulous, massaging Dr. B. He was not nearly as relaxed as I was and kept flying through the air onto mommy's chest and she would have to catch him to keep him from falling to the ground. He shook like a leaf and passed some terrible gas and the whole exam had to take place with him in mom's arms. He shrieked like his legs were being cut off when he got the yucky stuff up his schnozzle, but he didn't have to get any shots. Not fair! Dr. B was surprised that his ears are in amazing shape and that he's only had 1 ear infection ever years ago. Our humans never do any maintenance on him and think it's better to leave well enough alone. Not fair again!
Mom said that she was super happy with Dr. B. This doctor likes to look at the whole pup and addresses the entire animal (or in my case - beast) and not solely focus on issues or ailments. She is not located at a holistic practice, but she's very up to date on lots of holistic-type stuff. She is also a big believer in the raw diet, and quizzed our mom on what she's feeding and said that it looked like we had some pretty good feasting planned for us and that she wouldn't even recommend a multivitamin because our meals are so complete. However... she did say that Big Pupi was way too skinny and needs to put on almost 2 pounds!! Mom has been working hard to fatten my brother and me up but we just don't put on weight very easily because we are calorie infernos. But, any doctor that prescribes more feasting is a friend of mine!
I screamed while we were checking out and Dr. B gave my mom card for something called an Animal Behaviorist that's supposed help figure out my howling habit. Um... no thanks. We then got back into the puke-wagen, drove back to the parking garage and walked home. Big Pupi was so exhausted from his stressful day that he passed out on the dirty stuffed chair. However, I had just learned of the appropriate thing to do with one of these chairs from my friend Petra, and I can't wait until he's off of it so I can practice my shredding techniques.
Oh well. I guess I'll have to wait until next time.
Feast hard (the vet says you should!),
***A New way to clean dog's ears***
Take 2 cotton balls and soak them in a cleaning solution. Place one cotton ball in each ear and press it down into the canal so it's level with the ear's opening (don't stick it all the way down!). Massage the base of the ear for 45 seconds, and make sure you hear that good squishy sound from the medication getting inside. Then let the dog shake its head and the cotton balls will come whizzing out. This is a much more comfortable way to get meds in there, as there is no squirting and splashing liquids into the ear. I didn't mind it at all! Thanks Dr. B!