My day started out with what I thought was a nice walk around downtown with my mom and my brother. I was trying to heal like a good boy but couldn't help lunging at a few tasty pigeons along the way. Little did I know that my mommy was taking me to the parking garage where she keeps the horrible thing she calls a car. My brother loves to ride in it, but it makes me want to puke. I don't even need to be in the car - as soon as I see it I start to salivate and foam at the mouth. I dug my paws into the ground but mommy picked me up and buckled me into the back seat. I could feel the vomit rise in my throat.
For some reason we didn't go anywhere before she took us back out of the car and found a nice man in the garage office to put big thick black and red wires and metal bits on her car's insides that gave it life. I hate that man! After that she strapped us into the back seat again and we were on our way. I didn't know where, but I was upset anyway.
We went on a highway and down some bumpy roads as I drooled and slimed all over the back seat. Then, the car suddenly got really quiet and mommy just barely got it to the side of the road. We all sat in that terrible vehicle for an HOUR before another man came with wires, only he couldn't being the car back to life. I was celebrating the defeat of my enemy by screaming from the back seat for the entire 2 hours that the strange man was messing with the car's insides. But no! He replaced something in the guts and it roared and moved again! I had just about had it at that point, so as we were pulling into the vet's parking lot I threw up the entire contents of my stomach all over the back seat. That's what that yucky car deserves!
My human kept thanking the vet for allowing us to come even though we were hours late. (That's why vets are so stinky!) I was an emotional mess at this point and when I got taken in the back to get my blood drawn I "expressed my anal glands" all over the vet tech and then had terrible projectile diarrhea all over the man. I was also covered in puke and poo so then they BATHED ME!!! Can you believe it?! I HATE the vet!
After all this, and to add insult to injury, my mommy put me back in the car and drove down bumpy, nauseating roads all the way home. Then she had the nerve to make me heal and walk like a nice boy from the parking garage back to our apartment. And now... I've arrived home 5 hours late and my meat still hasn't arrived!!
Today is the worst day ever, and now I'm begging for dinner (my tummy is empty!!) and mommy isn't tending to my every beck and call.
Not at all pleased,