Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Raw Food Diet, Day 85- Why the Vet Stinks

My day started out with what I thought was a nice walk around downtown with my mom and my brother.   I was trying to heal like a good boy but couldn't help lunging at a few tasty pigeons along the way.  Little did I know that my mommy was taking me to the parking garage where she keeps the horrible thing she calls a car.  My brother loves to ride in it, but it makes me want to puke.   I don't even need to be in the car - as soon as I see it I start to salivate and foam at the mouth.   I dug my paws into the ground but mommy picked me up and buckled me into the back seat.  I could feel the vomit rise in my throat.  


For some reason we didn't go anywhere before she took us back out of the car and found a nice man in the garage office to put big thick black and red wires and metal bits on her car's insides that gave it life.   I hate that man!   After that she strapped us into the back seat again and we were on our way.   I didn't know where, but I was upset anyway.

We went on a highway and down some bumpy roads as I drooled and slimed all over the back seat.  Then, the car suddenly got really quiet and mommy just barely got it to the side of the road.  We all sat in that terrible vehicle for an HOUR before another man came with wires, only he couldn't being the car back to life.  I was celebrating the defeat of my enemy by screaming from the back seat for the entire 2 hours that the strange man was messing with the car's insides.  But no!   He replaced something in the guts and it roared and moved again!  I had just about had it at that point, so as we were pulling into the vet's parking lot I threw up the entire contents of my stomach all over the back seat.  That's what that yucky car deserves!

My human kept thanking the vet for allowing us to come even though we were hours late.  (That's why vets are so stinky!)  I was an emotional mess at this point and when I got taken in the back to get my blood drawn I "expressed my anal glands" all over the vet tech and then had terrible projectile diarrhea all over the man.  I was also covered in puke and poo so then they BATHED ME!!!  Can you believe it?!   I HATE the vet!

My brother got taken into the back first, and since he was a good boy he got to come out within minutes.  While I was being tortured by the vet techs my brother almost got to play with a super fun little 4-year-old boy who had just gone potty in the human "good boy" spot and came out covered in his own poo.  How fun is that?!  And I missed it!!  But Big Pupi told me that the boy's daddy stopped the games from happening and took the boy away.  Darn.

After all this, and to add insult to injury, my mommy put me back in the car and drove down bumpy, nauseating roads all the way home.  Then she had the nerve to make me heal and walk like a nice boy from the parking garage back to our apartment.  And now... I've arrived home 5 hours late and my meat still hasn't arrived!!

Today is the worst day ever, and now I'm begging for dinner (my tummy is empty!!) and mommy isn't tending to my every beck and call.
Not at all pleased,
Stanislaw

***
good boy Big Pupi comments:
I LOVE the car.  So fun.  It always takes me to super great places... unless it's taking me to the vet.  But we usually go to super great places.

Today we had an appointment with vet techs just to get a blood sample before our annual visit in May.  We're getting our heartworm tests and we also got titers for Distemper.  Our humans have decided to try to avoid over-vaccinating us if they are able, and although titers are controversial with regard to their accuracy, they wanted to take this route anyway.  If we do test positive for having immunity to Distemper, then we can miss the vaccine all together and it'll be well worth it.  After all... we both have some allergies and funny immune-reactions (especially me!), so Stanley and I need a little extra TLC when it comes to vaccinations.

So keep your paws crossed that our tests come out just as they should!  We'll keep you updated on how the titers turned out.  And of course, we'll let you know all about our fresh meat once it gets here!

So pumped I got to ride in the car,
Big Pupi

3 comments:

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Ellen said...

Hey Stan,

Sorry to hear you had such a poopy day!

I have to agree with Pupi, though - I love to ride in the car. One time, my mom put me in the car and we drove for a long time. When she finally stopped driving we were at this amazing place with lots of sand. We walked on the sand for a while and then I saw the biggest puddle I've ever seen! I ran out into the puddle and splashed around. It turns out I'm a natural swimmer. Then I spent some time digging and my mom didn't tell me to stop. Finally, I took a refreshing drink of the water, but it was salty and I threw up my breakfast. It was so much fun! When we got back to the car I refused to hop into the back seat and my mom had to pick me up.

Now every time we go to the car I hope we're going back to the beach, but we haven't gone back yet.

Beckett

FleasGang said...

Unfortunately, your cuteness totally trumps puking in the car. So your mom and pop can't say "you're never riding in the car again".

We on the other hand love riding in the car. Sometimes we go to the lake but mostly we wind up at the vet. Which isn't so bad because we get to talk to other pups.

The Fleas