Monday, August 25, 2008

Raw Food Diet, Day 209- Cruelty to Animals

So.  While my dad was feasting his eyes on Torts, my stinky mom was planning something horrible and terribly cruel.  Turns out that after all these months and years of claiming that she's not into non-functional dog clothes for Pupi and me, she bought NON-FUNCTIONAL DOG CLOTHES!  Sure, we have coats and fleeces but we're only forced to wear them when it's in the negatives here in Chicago.  We wear our winter gear for oh... say... 7 months of the year.  But this.  No.  Not THIS.  Somebody help me.



We got an order from Petedge, which is usually full of awsomeness and squeaky fuzzy things.  But this time when that darn box opened a new grooming bag appeared, along with a fresh bottle of shampoo and COSTUMES.  Apparently with the cool weather comes something called Halloween, and while we've never dressed up before, mom saw these costumes for only $7 of cheese money-a-piece and just couldn't resist.  I could resist.  Pupi could resist.  I wonder what these crazy humans are thinking.  They laughed their silly fur-less heads off at us when we were dressed up.  I'm so furious right now I could weeble.

Sure, I got a new raccoon tug toy and Pupi got a giggle hydrant stuffy, but that DOES NOT make up for the fact that we'll be paraded around like a pair of dorky dogs.  At least Pupi looks a little like a thug in his costume.  As for me... well, I'm preparing to get my furry bum kicked by the other mutts at at the bark park.  

Keep those stuffies coming mom.  You need to make up for this.
Stanislaw

12 comments:

Hero said...

he he... it isn't too bad, Stan. I think your stinky skunk costume reeks of beastliness. At least you won't be alone in your shame. I think my mom is planning on finding a super humiliating costume for me this Halloween.

Petra said...

You guys look kind of silly!

Whenever I have anything kind of clothes on, I stand like a statue and won't move.

WON'T, I say!

Mack said...

Stanislaw,
Paris says you look like an "angel".

I keep telling mom Paris needs to dress up as a little devil for Halloween. A little blonde cocker devil!!

Ellen (or Beckett) said...

Stan,

I think you'd better crack your dad's law books. Surely this must be against some law!

I gotta go, my mom's heading this way and I don't want her to see this post and get any ideas...

Beckett

Ella Bean said...

Aw, Stani, I think you look cute!

Kisses, Ella Bean

River said...

I think the skunk look is pretty scary. You could get some skunk perfume and NOBODY would kick your butt because they wouldn't come near you. Skeleton is also scary. Does it glow in the dark?

love & wags,
River

FleasGang said...

If we recall correctly, it was you Stan, that was dropping stinky bombs at the AC repairman. So if the costume fits, where it! And you're right, Big Pupi looks massively tough in his costume :-)

Trick or Treat
The FleasGang

Scottie the 'cutie' said...

Ooh...costumes! I think you look great in them, Stan! Even Big Pupi! And yeah, like The FleasGang said, you can live up to the 'skunk' title with your stinky bombs...*wink* That way, no one will kick your butt, but the other way around!

Scottie

Toffee said...

I love the outfits (snicker, snicker)...hee hee

Girl Girl Hamster said...

You doggies look cute. Are you doing trick or treating? I bet you'll get LOTS of treats wearing those

~ Girl girl

Niamh said...

Absolutely cruelty to animals! I think that you and Big Pupi should do some civil disobedience the next time your mom goes crazy and makes you wear those outfits. Sit down and refuse to move. If they try to pick you up, go completely limp and floppy. Maybe then your people will get the message.

Your friend,
Niamh

Ellen (or Beckett) said...

Oooh, I think Niamh is onto something. It'll be just like that episode of the Girls Next Door where Bridget tries to get Winnie to wear an Easter Bunny costume, and poor Winnie goes dogatonic!

Beckett

PS - Don't tell my mom I know about that show. I'm not supposed to watch TV.