Saturday, August 30, 2008

Raw Food Diet, Day 214- The Joke's on Me

Late Thursday Big Pupi and I were brainstorming ways to prevent my humans from attending this wedding and leaving us at camp.  Don't get me wrong... I usually love camp, but I like my cushy home life a little bit more.  We devised a fail-proof plan and decided to start coughing.  Then I took it up a notch and puked all over my humans' bed.  I made sure to soak the comforter, sheets, dust ruffle (napkin) and carpet.  Then I had diarrhea all over the living room.  Big Pupi followed suit and the next morning he hurled up his breakfast all over the sofa, which didn't have its slip cover on because I had beat him to it and coughed up stuff all over it.  Before we knew it, mom was asking for credits on her flight and she cancelled our camp reservation.  Awesome!  It worked!  Pupi and I were thrilled with our victory and were quite convinced that we were geniuses.

Until mom called the vet.  

We were there in a flash - escorted into a room through a side door that prevented us from playing with other patients.  What?!  There was poking, prodding, squeezing at my throat and gagging.  Pupi got IV fluids that turned his shoulders into a massive jiggly lump of grossness.  And to add insult to injury, the doctor shoved a thermometer into my bum!!!  When it was his turn, Big Pupi shrieked like his legs were being torn off and had to be restrained.  This was awful!  Terrible!  Our plan had seriously backfired.

We were sent home with a bunch of green bottles filled with cough suppressants and other stinky things.  AND to make matters worse, the vet said that we no longer needed to gain weight and that mom had to cut out meals back.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!
Pupi and I will be deprived one ounce of meat every day!  Since we're no longer on an active weight-gain feasting plan, there will be fewer treats and no snacks.  This is ridiculous.  How am I supposed to live??  I'm now a 23.65-pound beast and I need my feasts!

At least I'll have my friends to comfort me, right?  WRONG!  I'm not allowed to play with anyone but my stinky brother for a solid week after my symptoms have gone.  Well, once I heard that I got on the healing path right away.  Today Pupi and I haven't coughed once, there's been no upset tummies whatsoever, and we're acting like our usual energetic selves.  So there!  After only 24 hours of symptoms the countdown to partying with puppies begins.  

The vet said we have something called "Bordatella," and despite the fact that we were just vaccinated for it in June there's a strain going around Chicago that the vaccine doesn't cover.  Almost every dog that's exposed will catch it.  She told mom to plan on hearing us cough for the next 2-3 weeks, and that we'll need our cough suppressant to sleep through the night.  Imagine mom's shock when we never needed to take one dose of it!  But seriously folks... I know that she appreciates us making her stay home without dad (it's his cousin's wedding so he has to go) on the one holiday weekend she's had all summer, so that she can tend to two seemingly healthy dogs.  Wahoo!  We are such good boys.  

But as for this feast decrease scenario... What did I get myself into?  Man.  That was a mistake.  A big, big mistake.

I'm paying the price,
Stanislaw

7 comments:

Niamh said...

This is awful news about the decrease in feasting! How will you adequately train for your marathon? Doesn't your vet understand that you are a potential olympic athlete and need to eat like Michael Phelps?

I'm sorry that you and your bro were feeling so poorly but glad that you are making an amazing recovery.

Your friend,
NIamh

Mack said...

Oh man, so sorry the feasting is on the decline now. That is just so wrong.

Our sissy Lilly had Bordetella when Mom first adopted her. They gave her some meds and she recovered quickly.

Maybe you can convince your mom you lost valuable electrolytes from this last puke fest and need mass quantities of protein to replenish your red blood cells??

PS: Paris has got the yuckies too. The vet says she has a yeast and a bacterial infection in her ears.
It hasn't stopped her from tackling me though.

Girl Girl Hamster said...

Oh dear.. I hope you'll get to feast again soon

~ Girl girl

Maggie and Mitch said...

OMG, what awful news to come home to! We sure hope your diet doesn't last long!
We saw a black and grey Cocker on Nantucket and we said hi to him! He was cute but not nearly as cute as you and Big Pupi!

Love ya lots,
Maggie and Mitch

Charlie Daniels said...

Oh no! I am sorry to hear you are not well. I am a bit sick too and tonight I heard My Bi-Peds mention the V-E-T word!!!!!! I hope I don't have to go ...

Cheers

Charlie

the 4 Bs said...

oh Stanislaw, we were really proud of your whole barfing, diarrhea, coughing scenario. that was brilliant. BUT the vet abuse and then being put on a diet - that is serious bad stuff. at least you got your mom to stay home with you, but darn, this is going to have long lasting consequences. sorry kiddo.

woofs.

Scottie the 'cutie' said...

Sorry to hear about the cutting down on feasts! Hope it goes back to more yummy proportions soon!

Scottie